I won't lie. I'm a bit of a snob about things on Facebook. I know all of you (for the most part) and at one time or another, we've shared some time together. I've been away from every single person I know for almost a year now (6 days away) and I've actually learned more about people than ever before, because I'm forced, out of desperation to stay connected, to pay attention more than ever. Some of these "tips" might just be things I learned about myself, but most are actually kind thoughts for people who are truly making themselves look bad.
Filters and Photoshop - My dear female friends. What a picture looks like on your phone is one thing, but for many of us on computers, your selfie taken three feet from your face is hilarious. I realize we're not all perfect, but trust me when I tell you, your blemishes and bags look less ridiculous than your poorly airbrushed head shots.
Relationship Statuses - You're all in your 30's and 40's right now, so trust me and everyone who is both happy and miserable, you don't need to jump into anything...in the status section. I know people who have changed their relationship status and who they are dating, as many as six times in a five month period. It's a mean world out there and people talk. Relax, get to know your beau in the real world and when you're both ready to commit to each other exclusively, then you can update that status. No need to enter the info after that first date. Make sure you've at least met each others pets before you click that "in a relationship" button.
Spelling & Grammar - Teacher and self proclaimed "published" authors. Do you know how many people judge you when you make an error? Do you know how quickly your mistakes run through the direct message world and how much you've become the butt of jokes? I would never name names, but I have one friend who was so adamant about Common Core being taken down, she blamed the world for her being judged. The one problem with this is her attacks usually contained sentences like "I don't no who they think their." Also, if you're a "published" author, who can't put a cohesive sentence together and doesn't understand the meaning of 2nd grade words, please ask a friend to help, I'm not friends with one person, who thinks he's one of America's finest poets, but he's been posting hashtags about "Instragram" instead of Instagram for months now. It might also help if he knew how google worked and stopped being duped by poetry contests you pay to be a semi-finalist for. I don't mean this man any harm, I've heard he's a sweetheart, but I feel for the fact he doesn't have any true friends to point out these things. He's only going to get hurt.
Parents Complaining = Kids Sick - This is a no-brainer. People who complain incessantly, cause stress. They cause stress to themselves and to their families. If you're compounding this by complaining on Facebook, you're causing even more stress. Especially if your kids have access to Facebook. Listen, we all have stress, but you know what? The ones who have the most don't really use social media to voice it. There's an old saying about how when someone always has issues with everyone else in situations they're in, it's probably them. I do know one thing about this world and that's how kids think. If they see one sibling getting attention, even negative, they want it. So when you post nineteen times that you were up all night with little Joey, little Emily is going to want posts about her. So she's going to make herself sick. This then becomes a cycle and these parents, you all know who they are, spend their entire time complaining and the kids never get well. Funny how that week at grandma's or camp or even at the spouse who left always seems to rejuvenate them, but they're back to their illnesses a few days after their return. Kids are sponges and what ever they soak up, they'll carry for life. Remember that.
The Side Bar - If you have a phone you don't see it. If you have a computer, you do. So don't like my tribute to the nine dead in Charleston one second and then let me find out you just posted a racial rant on Conservative Tribune. I'm not threatening anyone, but wouldn't it be a shame if your boss or supervisor saw that?
Shoulders - I'm always here for any of my friends. I mean always. I think I've gone above and beyond for some and talked to them at wee hours of the night, when things seemed impossible. Some I've simply done what I can, not knowing if it is really any help and others have helped me. Their time and patience is cherished. One thing I don't like is those who only seek me out when they need something, then go months without so much as a hello, a like here or there or a comment. I'm not doing anything for likes or comments or hello, but if I'm the one you always come to in crisis, the least you could do is acknowledge me in some way when things you've dug yourself out of that crisis. Whether I've been of help or not.
Choices - I've mad some really stupid relationship choices and damn if Facebook doesn't remind me every day. The things I see, hear and I'm told by those who know I'm blocked by others, makes me wonder how the fuck nobody kicked me in the head. I've dated some people who really turned into horrible human beings, bad parents, selfish, desperate and I've also dated people who have become the greatest people in the world. Sadly, those people were the greatest and I was too busy chasing those on the first list. I've also learned that if I was better looking, better off and better mentally capable of having a relationship, I'd be hitting on a lot of my friends. I flirt, but damn, there are some real catches out there guys. Stop wasting your time on the girls ten years younger, who think Pontius Pilate is an aerobics instructor. Go for the brains and the mental stability, because that's what makes relationships last. Book smarts are fine, but when you see someone comment on the Broadway play and baseball game they went to and how excited they are by the Star Wars collectibles they want, but they also take great lengths to share their feeling on Charleston, you know they are someone you should be going after. The fact they're hot as can be also, well that's just a bonus. I know that old adage of "if I knew then," is cliche, but wow would my life be different. Then again, who knows, like I said before, if things are always going badly because of someone else, maybe it's time to look in the mirror.
Filters and Photoshop - My dear female friends. What a picture looks like on your phone is one thing, but for many of us on computers, your selfie taken three feet from your face is hilarious. I realize we're not all perfect, but trust me when I tell you, your blemishes and bags look less ridiculous than your poorly airbrushed head shots.
Relationship Statuses - You're all in your 30's and 40's right now, so trust me and everyone who is both happy and miserable, you don't need to jump into anything...in the status section. I know people who have changed their relationship status and who they are dating, as many as six times in a five month period. It's a mean world out there and people talk. Relax, get to know your beau in the real world and when you're both ready to commit to each other exclusively, then you can update that status. No need to enter the info after that first date. Make sure you've at least met each others pets before you click that "in a relationship" button.
Spelling & Grammar - Teacher and self proclaimed "published" authors. Do you know how many people judge you when you make an error? Do you know how quickly your mistakes run through the direct message world and how much you've become the butt of jokes? I would never name names, but I have one friend who was so adamant about Common Core being taken down, she blamed the world for her being judged. The one problem with this is her attacks usually contained sentences like "I don't no who they think their." Also, if you're a "published" author, who can't put a cohesive sentence together and doesn't understand the meaning of 2nd grade words, please ask a friend to help, I'm not friends with one person, who thinks he's one of America's finest poets, but he's been posting hashtags about "Instragram" instead of Instagram for months now. It might also help if he knew how google worked and stopped being duped by poetry contests you pay to be a semi-finalist for. I don't mean this man any harm, I've heard he's a sweetheart, but I feel for the fact he doesn't have any true friends to point out these things. He's only going to get hurt.
Parents Complaining = Kids Sick - This is a no-brainer. People who complain incessantly, cause stress. They cause stress to themselves and to their families. If you're compounding this by complaining on Facebook, you're causing even more stress. Especially if your kids have access to Facebook. Listen, we all have stress, but you know what? The ones who have the most don't really use social media to voice it. There's an old saying about how when someone always has issues with everyone else in situations they're in, it's probably them. I do know one thing about this world and that's how kids think. If they see one sibling getting attention, even negative, they want it. So when you post nineteen times that you were up all night with little Joey, little Emily is going to want posts about her. So she's going to make herself sick. This then becomes a cycle and these parents, you all know who they are, spend their entire time complaining and the kids never get well. Funny how that week at grandma's or camp or even at the spouse who left always seems to rejuvenate them, but they're back to their illnesses a few days after their return. Kids are sponges and what ever they soak up, they'll carry for life. Remember that.
The Side Bar - If you have a phone you don't see it. If you have a computer, you do. So don't like my tribute to the nine dead in Charleston one second and then let me find out you just posted a racial rant on Conservative Tribune. I'm not threatening anyone, but wouldn't it be a shame if your boss or supervisor saw that?
Shoulders - I'm always here for any of my friends. I mean always. I think I've gone above and beyond for some and talked to them at wee hours of the night, when things seemed impossible. Some I've simply done what I can, not knowing if it is really any help and others have helped me. Their time and patience is cherished. One thing I don't like is those who only seek me out when they need something, then go months without so much as a hello, a like here or there or a comment. I'm not doing anything for likes or comments or hello, but if I'm the one you always come to in crisis, the least you could do is acknowledge me in some way when things you've dug yourself out of that crisis. Whether I've been of help or not.
Choices - I've mad some really stupid relationship choices and damn if Facebook doesn't remind me every day. The things I see, hear and I'm told by those who know I'm blocked by others, makes me wonder how the fuck nobody kicked me in the head. I've dated some people who really turned into horrible human beings, bad parents, selfish, desperate and I've also dated people who have become the greatest people in the world. Sadly, those people were the greatest and I was too busy chasing those on the first list. I've also learned that if I was better looking, better off and better mentally capable of having a relationship, I'd be hitting on a lot of my friends. I flirt, but damn, there are some real catches out there guys. Stop wasting your time on the girls ten years younger, who think Pontius Pilate is an aerobics instructor. Go for the brains and the mental stability, because that's what makes relationships last. Book smarts are fine, but when you see someone comment on the Broadway play and baseball game they went to and how excited they are by the Star Wars collectibles they want, but they also take great lengths to share their feeling on Charleston, you know they are someone you should be going after. The fact they're hot as can be also, well that's just a bonus. I know that old adage of "if I knew then," is cliche, but wow would my life be different. Then again, who knows, like I said before, if things are always going badly because of someone else, maybe it's time to look in the mirror.
Comments
Post a Comment