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Why do people who have little or no constraints, fill their days, weeks and months with chores they neither have to, nor want to do? Why is it that they seem to find ways to turn every bad thing for others into a burden for them. It's amazing to me, when I read, see or hear people's complaints. Even more so when they don't realize I've heard them. Freedom comes in many varieties, but the freedom to choose being misery over happiness has always amazed me. I can't remember a day where there wasn't at least one person who didn't choose to do something that irritated them, for no other reason than to be able to complain about it. Is that living?

I've been in a bad situation for most of the past decade and despite my complaining about sleep and occasionally about my pain, most people think my one gripe is with other people's opinions. It's actually quite the opposite, I love hearing other's opinions, but I merely ask they be able to explain them. Most people can't, because they are bound by ignorance. They've chose a stance, based only on what they've heard others say and while they choose not to research things themselves, briefly believing they've gained some time for themselves, they actually spend more time defending, proactively their decision to stay, well stupid.

The people above are the majority, but imagine shutting out friends or only seeing them at parties or events, because you've created this false world, where you're needed somewhere. Imagine if every second spent in this locked up location, was merely to satisfy some pretend job you had? Feigning illness, injury and mental trauma every time you're asked to do something social, because you were too proud to listen to those who cared, but now find solace in the arms, both physically and figuratively of someone who doesn't know or understand your situation, because they came along so far after, they know nothing of your selfish behavior. But then, imagine your behavior grew with everyone who has known you for years, but you shield this child and nurture him, so he never sees the true you? Imagine that cage and the walls closing in, because you've created a persona that is a lie. I can't imagine how suffocating that must me.


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