I yell. You yell. We all yell.
One thing I rarely do is raise my voice around children. It commands neither respect, admiration, or even a symbol of authority. Children respond to calm. At times, we must be firm, even crossing the line into being the "bad guy," but it must be known this is temporary. Yelling, even raising your voice simply to talk over their weaker voices, is a sign of weakness, lack of control, and low self-esteem. Honestly, if you need to overpower a child, even with your voice, you probably shouldn't be working with them.
When commanding the attention of a group, the best way is to keep your voice steady, then bringing the tone down, as they comply, listen, or simply become attentive to your message. This can take longer than most adults can muster, but it's that control that the kids will respond to. This way, if you are to raise your voice, ever so slightly, they will then realize you're mood or demeanor has changed, and if they respect you, they'll quiet down very quickly.
One must also remember, in large groups, not every child has the ability or self-control to quiet down quickly or for as long as others. This is also why your message must be succinct, with each word meaning something. Pauses, umms, so's, and superfluous descriptions and instructions only distract. Kids need to understand where you are coming from and why. Rules must be explained in a way that the least attentive child gets the gist, while the most attentive keeps their interest. Yelling destroys any chance of this.
Remember, unless safety is your major concern, there are very few times, a long, loud speech is necessary. One must always view the timing of their message too. If children are waiting to play, they will always be less attentive than when they are about to do work. If they are interrupted, they will react the same way that an adult would. Keep in mind, what you as an adult view as important, a child will view as chatter. Make your message matter. Hold their interest briefly, but long enough to relay your message. Keep your tone friendly, comforting, and always be yourself. Yelling is not yourself. Yelling is anger and kids shun or fear anger. They understand differently. It's why when they watch TV and see politicians that often ask, "Why is that person yelling?" The message is lost. It's amazing how many people view fear or contempt as respect. Even more so, how many think the kids heard a word they said.
One thing I rarely do is raise my voice around children. It commands neither respect, admiration, or even a symbol of authority. Children respond to calm. At times, we must be firm, even crossing the line into being the "bad guy," but it must be known this is temporary. Yelling, even raising your voice simply to talk over their weaker voices, is a sign of weakness, lack of control, and low self-esteem. Honestly, if you need to overpower a child, even with your voice, you probably shouldn't be working with them.
When commanding the attention of a group, the best way is to keep your voice steady, then bringing the tone down, as they comply, listen, or simply become attentive to your message. This can take longer than most adults can muster, but it's that control that the kids will respond to. This way, if you are to raise your voice, ever so slightly, they will then realize you're mood or demeanor has changed, and if they respect you, they'll quiet down very quickly.
One must also remember, in large groups, not every child has the ability or self-control to quiet down quickly or for as long as others. This is also why your message must be succinct, with each word meaning something. Pauses, umms, so's, and superfluous descriptions and instructions only distract. Kids need to understand where you are coming from and why. Rules must be explained in a way that the least attentive child gets the gist, while the most attentive keeps their interest. Yelling destroys any chance of this.
Remember, unless safety is your major concern, there are very few times, a long, loud speech is necessary. One must always view the timing of their message too. If children are waiting to play, they will always be less attentive than when they are about to do work. If they are interrupted, they will react the same way that an adult would. Keep in mind, what you as an adult view as important, a child will view as chatter. Make your message matter. Hold their interest briefly, but long enough to relay your message. Keep your tone friendly, comforting, and always be yourself. Yelling is not yourself. Yelling is anger and kids shun or fear anger. They understand differently. It's why when they watch TV and see politicians that often ask, "Why is that person yelling?" The message is lost. It's amazing how many people view fear or contempt as respect. Even more so, how many think the kids heard a word they said.
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