Hop's Thoughts

Looking out at the light grey Ithaca sky. The sun was as distant as my troubles this week. Fine goods, wine and company allowed me a brief respite from a world I've ceased to enjoy.  I take full responsibility for my actions and inaction's, but the lack of accountability in others brings my life constant turmoil.  I don't know how this will play out. I don't have the money, nor the legal clout to truly fight, but I will try. I've allowed others to renege on their responsibilities, but it has reached a booking point. My apartment is nearly uninhabitable. As look out the open window, my face gets cold, but it's pleasant. Just as a hot towel after a great meal, the cold invigorated me. Reminds me to feel. To mentally and physically push through perceived discomfort and enjoy life, even if the enjoyable parts are few. I've been away for seven days and with the exception of one person and my kids, I haven't missed a thing. Tomorrow I will awake, most like...

Did your kid grow in the last 24 seconds? Do you call people on the phone or text them every song you listen to? Do you go to the gym for your health and beauty or for recognition? Do you eat weird, nasty tasty foods and supplements for you or for others? Does anyone really care about anyone else while stuck in traffic? Did you go away to relax or to show people you could? Do you think you're kids appreciate the pictures you post of them suffering? Do you think your cold is any less debilitating than others? Did you think your shitty relationship would change with marriage? Kids? Do you think 24 degrees is colder at your house than others? Do you think money issues don't affect us all? Do you think calling out your friends for not being there, brings them closer? Realize we all love seeing your kids.  In moderation. We all like to learn things about each other, but not trivial stuff. I admire anyone who wants to better themselves, for them. Your diet, is your di...

Absolutely no heart from the men today. Proof that it's all about the money. All you who were duped into it being about pride and patriotism, I feel for you, buy it's not surprising, being most of your politics are based on quantity mot quality, perception over reality and money over ethics. I love the Olympics, but I'm happy for the Ukrainian X-country skier, the US half piper who recognized tho se who came (and died) before her. The Jamaicans who added levity to trying times. I'll never get the rah rah rah stuff, because it's manufactured now. What I realize, is WE need enemies to feel good about ourselves. 1980 was real and it was important, but now, it's all about capitalism and commercialism and it's been made dirty. It's no longer about the athletes and their countries, it's about the countries and their economical power. It's an uglier world than 1980 and if you had told me that would be the case, I'd never have believe...

I can not sleep between the hours of 2am and 5am. It just doesn't happen.  I can sleep from 4pm to 6pm easily, but not at home, because my asshole neighbors slam the door constantly as they come in and out. I can not eat breakfast at 7am, it is not natural to eat that early, especially if I've just got out of bed.  I need time. I actually find when I visit my father, I'm starving in the morning, because we eat dinner so much later than I am used to, but when I eat at the same time at home, I am not even remotely hungry in the morning and usually will skip both breakfast and lunch.  I've noticed that I perform my best with tasks at hand when I first wake up and any time after midnight, but I'm pretty much an ADD-rattled disaster between 9am and then.  Which doesn't bode well for my future employer.  It does however drive me to entertain and instruct my kids.  It's that scattered combination of enthusiasm and inability to focus that actually plays well into m...

A near perfect joyride. Exceptional acting for a horror flick. Great plot twists. Four stories that intertwine, with one essentially done within the first ten minutes, leading us in. The movie has everything. Gore, violence, humor, monsters, drop dead gorgeous ladies, a few twists and in a rare case....it all makes sense. Oh, did I mention am iconic figure? To know Sam, is to love him!

OK, this year, like so many before it is starting off the same way.  Strapped for cash to the point, I'm not sure if I'll be eating come late March and in more regular pain on a day-to-day basis than every before in my life.  Oh yeah and my apartment's ceiling is going to cave in from leaks and my management company might be evicting me when they get the letter I just sent them.  That being said there have been a few bright spots. While walking my kids to class the other day, one kid, usually outgoing and loud, was visibly not himself.  As we walked he let the group get ahead and fell back to where I was and held my hand.  Kids hold my hand all the time, but didn't expect it from him. Four lovely ladies made me feel a little less lonely on Valentine's Day. A surprise delivery of a pork chop with four sides and a container of soup, just when I needed it most. A movie that shook me to my core.  That does magical things for me. An e-mail from a long ...

If you see me walking in 17 degree weather with a gym bag, you know I'm not going to the gym.  Don't beep; pick my ass up! Kids (18-25) spit way too much. Hipster college kids smoking cigars while waiting for the bus back to school.  Knock that shit off. If you're waiting inside a warm office and you see that someone else has been waiting outside for 40 minutes, because there was no room in that office, don't push them out of the way so you can get on the bus 20 seconds before them.  I have finally reached that age where I have to accept "that girl is too young to sit next to when there are older people with open seats near them." Don't wear lime green jeans with a fox fur coat, because yes, we all think you're a hooker. Cheese Doodles = not bus food. If you grab the back of my seat and you touch my head, it is perfectly acceptable to apologize, I will not get mad. Talking on your cell phone while on a coach bus is obnoxious.  Trying to...