You would think that this is the start of an angry blog. One where I chastise someone who has jilted me. Someone who has torn my heart right from my chest, smashed it to the floor and stomped every ounce of blood from it. Well, unfortunately this is a happy tale. This is one about friendship. A true friendship. The subject line is how I greet her almost every time I see her. Like I said, true friendship!
When I moved to Eastchester in 1985, I started making friends with a group of guys who loved to play sports as much as I did. Every day after school, we'd join at Anne Hutchinson for basketball games. On the weekends, we'd play football or softball depending on the weather. We probably played 500 games during the course of 1985-1988. On most of those occasions, we had two spectators. My friends Billy's sister and our friend Linda. Usually their spectating involved snide remarks about us, mocking our poor performances and in my case, playing on the obvious infatuation I had with Linda.
Linda was everything I liked in a girl when I was fifteen. She was pretty, smart and she had great tits. Call me shallow, but at fifteen, I cared about two things. Sports and Breasts. Sadly, I think it was in that order. Linda and I became good friends and we'd spend many hours together and many more on the phone. We never ran out of things to talk about and as the time went on, my infatuation grew. I would spend hours at her house with her and her very attractive and nicely endowed sisters. They would flirt with me and joke about how I was always there. The problem was, I was shy. I could never muster the courage to ask the simple question. Would you go out with me? The years went by and high school became one of those things I abhorred, but throughout it all, I had Linda as a friend. It was the one thing I could count on. She was older than me, but we spoke almost every day. I don't know when it was, but one day or night I mustered the courage to ask her the vital question. I think I got through the second word, when she yelled out "NO." My hopes and dreams were crushed. I was beside myself. The strange thing was that it was almost a relief. We joked about the incident later and I even gave her a cartoon about the moment. It was weird. We were weird.
She and I were a strange duo. We'd laugh at movies like Platoon and the end of Seven. We'd take great pleasure in seeing others pain....not serious mental anguish, but funny stuff, like people falling, nut shots, etc. She and I got each other. We always did and always will. There may have been a time when I was dating someone and she was raising her kids that she and I lost touch, but there was nothing that ever really broke our connection. There was something about the fact that we understood each others humor that always brought us back to each other. People to this day look in horror when overhearing some of the things we say to each other. They question if we're really that mean to each other all the time, but we don't see it as being mean. It's our plutonic foreplay. Back in the day, I'd probably tackle her after a joke, all the while just trying to cop a feel (and don't judge me, she knew damn well what I was doing and still persisted in her verbal abuse). We hang out more now than in the recent past. We have mutual friends who have sort of gotten used to it, although I do wonder if some of her close friends don't think I overdo it at times.
I've known her for twenty-five years. I'm still attracted to her, but in a different way than before. I used to think about her all the time and it was always in a lewd setting, dim lights and probably a ball gag was involved, because I knew if there ever did come a time when anything happened, she would inevitably ruin it with jokes. She's the kind of person who no matter how long we go without talking, we are never at a loss for words. I've met lots of people over the past twenty-five years ago and my close friends I think of as family. Sometimes when I'm with a person romantically I question my feelings. Maybe it's not a romantic feeling, but I know I love her with all my heart. She's a special person. A good mother. She's everything I want in a woman still to this day. She's funny, she's intelligent and most of all, she's got a great rack. Honestly, when it comes down to it, what else is there. Oh and did I mention the best part. She's a whore (just not with me).
When I moved to Eastchester in 1985, I started making friends with a group of guys who loved to play sports as much as I did. Every day after school, we'd join at Anne Hutchinson for basketball games. On the weekends, we'd play football or softball depending on the weather. We probably played 500 games during the course of 1985-1988. On most of those occasions, we had two spectators. My friends Billy's sister and our friend Linda. Usually their spectating involved snide remarks about us, mocking our poor performances and in my case, playing on the obvious infatuation I had with Linda.
Linda was everything I liked in a girl when I was fifteen. She was pretty, smart and she had great tits. Call me shallow, but at fifteen, I cared about two things. Sports and Breasts. Sadly, I think it was in that order. Linda and I became good friends and we'd spend many hours together and many more on the phone. We never ran out of things to talk about and as the time went on, my infatuation grew. I would spend hours at her house with her and her very attractive and nicely endowed sisters. They would flirt with me and joke about how I was always there. The problem was, I was shy. I could never muster the courage to ask the simple question. Would you go out with me? The years went by and high school became one of those things I abhorred, but throughout it all, I had Linda as a friend. It was the one thing I could count on. She was older than me, but we spoke almost every day. I don't know when it was, but one day or night I mustered the courage to ask her the vital question. I think I got through the second word, when she yelled out "NO." My hopes and dreams were crushed. I was beside myself. The strange thing was that it was almost a relief. We joked about the incident later and I even gave her a cartoon about the moment. It was weird. We were weird.
She and I were a strange duo. We'd laugh at movies like Platoon and the end of Seven. We'd take great pleasure in seeing others pain....not serious mental anguish, but funny stuff, like people falling, nut shots, etc. She and I got each other. We always did and always will. There may have been a time when I was dating someone and she was raising her kids that she and I lost touch, but there was nothing that ever really broke our connection. There was something about the fact that we understood each others humor that always brought us back to each other. People to this day look in horror when overhearing some of the things we say to each other. They question if we're really that mean to each other all the time, but we don't see it as being mean. It's our plutonic foreplay. Back in the day, I'd probably tackle her after a joke, all the while just trying to cop a feel (and don't judge me, she knew damn well what I was doing and still persisted in her verbal abuse). We hang out more now than in the recent past. We have mutual friends who have sort of gotten used to it, although I do wonder if some of her close friends don't think I overdo it at times.
I've known her for twenty-five years. I'm still attracted to her, but in a different way than before. I used to think about her all the time and it was always in a lewd setting, dim lights and probably a ball gag was involved, because I knew if there ever did come a time when anything happened, she would inevitably ruin it with jokes. She's the kind of person who no matter how long we go without talking, we are never at a loss for words. I've met lots of people over the past twenty-five years ago and my close friends I think of as family. Sometimes when I'm with a person romantically I question my feelings. Maybe it's not a romantic feeling, but I know I love her with all my heart. She's a special person. A good mother. She's everything I want in a woman still to this day. She's funny, she's intelligent and most of all, she's got a great rack. Honestly, when it comes down to it, what else is there. Oh and did I mention the best part. She's a whore (just not with me).
Oh. My. God. I've been relegated to "My friend Billy's sister". Jesus.
ReplyDeletesweet baby jesus. i read this blog title and i thought he wrote about me that A=hole!! hahahahah love yoU!
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