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Stop Trying So Hard People

School is a time for kids to not only learn, but to find their niche.  To find out who they are.  Usually they find a group of similar people and they find their comfort zone.  As adults, they stay with that path and it defines not only them, but who they end up with and how their children turn out.  This is pretty much the way it's always been.  Sure there are some who change religions, jobs, social setting and locations, but for the most of us, the trip isn't that exciting.  For most, it's somewhat defined by our surroundings.  I'm guilty as charged, so I'm not judging.  Not happy, but not judging.

Here's the problem.  Facebook!  Facebook has turned people who have always been one way into uncontrollable animals.  With the advent of Facebook, people who were completely happy in their own lives, now crave the unknown.  Everyone is jealous of everyone elses job, marriage, house, vacation spot, hobbies and social life.  It's an absolute clusterfuck of emotions, set off by (for the most part) lies.  You would think a daily snapshot into people's lives would make it more difficult to hide the atrocious lives many of us lead, but with a little subtle comments and maybe some photoshop, you can turn the regular into the spectacular.

I'm sure Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" will play in the ears of the readers, but here are just some examples.  There are the chronic spouse applauders. Praising their husbands or wives for being the best this or that and the most thoughtful people ever known.  Wasn't that you I overheard telling me about the impending separation last week at Stop & Shop?  Oh, you're wife is your "rock?"  Guess that woman I saw you with two towns over is your paper, because everyone knows paper beats rock.  Your husband is best, then why are there no pictures of him with your kids, it's always you and your parents?  Just asking, sorry to offend.

So you like to work out, jog, do obstacle courses, practice yoga, do kickboxing and eat healthy.  So do a lot of people.  You know who most of them do it for?  Themselves!  Not for Facebook.  You know why?  Because nobody and I mean nobody cares.  I have friends who teach yoga, teach MMA, teach kickboxing, teach sports, hell, I teach sports.  You know what I don't bore people with?  Telling them about it.  Nobody cares.  Sure, if you cook something delicious, a picture is great, but I don't need to know you jogged 2.67 miles in whatever time, because you had a slice of cheesecake.  Nobody needs to know that shit.  Nobody cares and if you're doing it for others, you've failed.  I know people who have had liposuction, gastric bypass, the ring thingies and they have lost much needed weight and they look wonderful.  They now workout. Good for them, but please, stop the preaching about a healthy lifestyle.  If I could afford non-essential surgery to make my fat ass skinny, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  You know what I'd post on Facebook.  Look at the miracle of vacuuming fat out, now let's hope my love for red meat and lethargy doesn't lead to a serious weight gain.

Also, you people who are too old to still be mesmerized by live music.  Get a grip.  Twenty-two year old skipping responsibilities to frolic in the sun, while listening to their favorite indie band is cool.  If you're 30+, you need to look at this as anyone else with reality based depression. This is why people watch TV, read, go to the movies.  Your obsession with this or that band at a certain age takes on a slightly sad tone. Oh and if you're doing this with professional wrestling at the same age, we need to have a sit down.

While I realize the reason for Facebook was never to have political debates and arguments about child rearing, it might be interesting to note, it also wasn't meant for people to promote their businesses and their religious beliefs.  It wasn't meant to be a help wanted sign for every lost animal to walk the face of the earth.  It was meant to share ideas and thoughts, so that is fine, but if you have an agenda and it's based on ideas other than your own, you might need to find a group of like minded people to stroke your fragile ego.

If you're 40 and you're taking selfies, I'm going on the assumption you are looking for sex or you aren't getting enough attention at home. This goes for both men and women.  If you're "happily" married and you feel the need to get as naked as you can on the Internet, please see the OED and look up happily.  If you are young and single, please remember that you're being objectified by the contents of your photos and it's human nature to make assumptions, so don't be surprised if the bookworm thinks you're a slut or the intellect thinks you're a meat head.  Then again, I find, people usually find what they deserve.

People might say, who am I to judge.  They are 100% correct.  I don't deserve a position of superiority and I'm not looking for one.  I do however don't want you to unfriend me, harass me, curse at me, block me, badmouth me or any other attack just because I call a spade a spade.  If you make yourself look stupid and ask me why people are mean, I will tell you.  Many times, I'll tell you before people are mean.  Also remember, just because friends liked your picture and told you you look nice or told you to have fun, doesn't mean they think you're the cat's meow. 

Stop trying to be something you're not.  Act within your age range. Remember if you're young those drunken photos might cost you a job and if you're older, they might make others perceive you have a problem.  Remember that meme you posted about deadbeat welfare receivers might make your white neighbor in a half a million dollar home laugh, but it might hurt the person you know going through a hard time, who needs those funds to survive.  Remember that your political views might be noble, but know if those politicians you're backing are as noble as those views.  Remember that what you think others don't see is very visible.  I've seen people who claim to be all loving bash religions, genders and races on what they think is a private page. I've seen people admit to crimes, who think they are telling a funny story. I've seen pictures with things in the background that went unnoticed to many, but could have ended marriages. I've seen people who never wanted their pictures on Facebook, plastered all over.  I see pages and pages of people not being who they really are.  Trying to either step into a world they aren't a part of or one they are jealous of.  I've seen those grasping onto adolescence, many years past the time it's acceptable.  I've seen people giving up their youth in an attempt to seem more mature.  I've seen lives being lied about and sometimes ruined, by others need to put every moment of their lives out there.  At one time, I did it with my personal life and realized it was not the way to go.

Here's the thing that bothers me most.  Every one of us is special in our own way.  We have something within us that is worth offering.  It's special though, not to be handed out daily, like some sort of party favor.  The thing that truly bothers me is how much acceptance people in today's world need.  I teach between 80-100 kids every year, it used to be more.  If I had a 100, I could have 99 pay me no mind, as long as that one kid said "thank you." If that one kid, told me I made a difference.  If that one kid, gave me a high five at the end of class.  For a very few, that is all it takes.  If you have a child of your own and they look you in the eye at night and tell you "I love you Mommy" or "I love you Daddy." Why do you need anything else, especially the approval of someone on Facebook?  Stop trying so hard and just be.

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