Over the past few years, I've prided myself on being both punctual and when it comes to work, being there. While my current job is only part-time, in general, I am the first one to arrive and the last one to leave and, as of this moment, I've not missed a single day of work. In fact, I've missed less than three hours in total, and much of it was due to my feline bud, Swag, disappearing before I had to leave. Only once have I left, an hour early, for health reasons. As I said, I pride myself on this, despite living in a society where this much absenteeism is the norm for most within any given week, and yet, they keep their jobs, even get rewarded for their attendance. It's baffling.
Much of my adult life has been spent working hourly pay jobs and my salary is dependent on my being there. Through taking care of my mother during her illness, to dealing with personal heartache to being someone else's rock, I've been at work, day in and day out, knowing a missed shift may mean not eating enough the following week or missing a rent payment, but maybe something as simple as having the funds to go out for a relaxing meal or maybe a few pints. Those moments are as important to me staying who I am as the jobs itself. Working with kids, if you do it right, is tiring. Dealing with coworkers who don't put in their fair share is commonplace. When it's the majority of the staff, those nights out become crucial to one's mental fitness, despite the toll they may take on the physical aspect of one's well-being.
So what is all this babble leading up to? Well, I'm broke. I'm broke and I can't afford to take off, but I know I need to. I can feel the band stretching to its limit. I can hear it starting to tear. I went out last night, spending more than I had planned, mostly on tips, something I do, as other's enjoyment gives me a sense of purpose and their appreciation, self-worth. It's something I don't get at home or at work, well not acknowledged in any way other than the occasional words. I don't look for it, but the idea that one's hard work will create an equal return is rubbish. It's a lie we're taught as kids and we still are told to believe it. I know better. But as I said, the band is about to snap, and along with it, I fear, my relationships. I know certain things are hard to take back, and words can be everlasting. I know I need a break, but with bad weather rolling in, and possibly lost wages, I can't afford the hit. I like many, will suffer through it. Remind myself I need this, more than it needs me. An important lesson for anyone who works serving others. There is always someone else who can do your job and your struggle is unimportant to those around you. We all have our woes and the strongest of us are expected not to let it shake them. I often wonder, would anyone notice if I weren't there. I know, out of a staff of a dozen, I only notice one other when she's not there, so i wonder if the train would keep on rolling. Of course, it was. As an old, wonderful boss of mine used to sing to everyone who complained.
I got along without you
Before I met you,
and I'll get along without you now.
But can I get along continuing this way? Can I afford a mental health day?
I guess we'll find out.
Much of my adult life has been spent working hourly pay jobs and my salary is dependent on my being there. Through taking care of my mother during her illness, to dealing with personal heartache to being someone else's rock, I've been at work, day in and day out, knowing a missed shift may mean not eating enough the following week or missing a rent payment, but maybe something as simple as having the funds to go out for a relaxing meal or maybe a few pints. Those moments are as important to me staying who I am as the jobs itself. Working with kids, if you do it right, is tiring. Dealing with coworkers who don't put in their fair share is commonplace. When it's the majority of the staff, those nights out become crucial to one's mental fitness, despite the toll they may take on the physical aspect of one's well-being.
So what is all this babble leading up to? Well, I'm broke. I'm broke and I can't afford to take off, but I know I need to. I can feel the band stretching to its limit. I can hear it starting to tear. I went out last night, spending more than I had planned, mostly on tips, something I do, as other's enjoyment gives me a sense of purpose and their appreciation, self-worth. It's something I don't get at home or at work, well not acknowledged in any way other than the occasional words. I don't look for it, but the idea that one's hard work will create an equal return is rubbish. It's a lie we're taught as kids and we still are told to believe it. I know better. But as I said, the band is about to snap, and along with it, I fear, my relationships. I know certain things are hard to take back, and words can be everlasting. I know I need a break, but with bad weather rolling in, and possibly lost wages, I can't afford the hit. I like many, will suffer through it. Remind myself I need this, more than it needs me. An important lesson for anyone who works serving others. There is always someone else who can do your job and your struggle is unimportant to those around you. We all have our woes and the strongest of us are expected not to let it shake them. I often wonder, would anyone notice if I weren't there. I know, out of a staff of a dozen, I only notice one other when she's not there, so i wonder if the train would keep on rolling. Of course, it was. As an old, wonderful boss of mine used to sing to everyone who complained.
I got along without you
Before I met you,
and I'll get along without you now.
But can I get along continuing this way? Can I afford a mental health day?
I guess we'll find out.
Good luck 🤞
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