I've not done this in a while and being that we've all been in some unfamiliar territory over the last few weeks, I have a load on my mind. So maybe, the best therapy is to just get stuff out. Who knows? I'm going to rant for 10 solid minutes. We'll see how this works out.
Dog walks. This has been the way I've maintained my health, my sanity, and my joy. That, and the immense and pleasurable time I've spent with Swag. Well, other than his waking before the sun comes up and his new habit of trying to break free from the bedroom like it's Alcatraz. I guess for all animals, the home gives safety, security, and shelter, except when it is forced upon us. Funny, heh? I have enjoyed the serenity of the walks, the built-in social distancing, and the slight smiles. It's also dawned on me that people who walk, every day, rain or shine, look a lot better physically than you and I, well most of us. People with pets are happier, It's science. Some walks are better than others. Some bring back memories of times past, some make me look to the future, and some, make me realize how much I've missed out on in life and will never have. Some are just walks. Like all things in life, whenever we do what brings us joy enough, it becomes routine, and we hate them, despite needing them. I am not there yet. I've also thought about the fact that I will not always live here. In fact, if I had my druthers, I'd leave tomorrow. I'd be leaving Helmut, the most beautiful dog I've known since Velya, my childhood Siberian Husky. This dog understands me like no human does. He makes me forget my worries, not for myself, but for others, in these uncertain times. I keep wondering how much he considers me family. He is part of mine. Much more so than actual family.
I miss work. I miss the laughter. I miss little hands holding mine. I miss piggyback rides. I miss being a human jungle gym. I miss seeing the look in a child's eye who thinks I'm invincible. So much so I believe it myself. The "news" has told us we're not. I am tired of listening to other's complaints about their lives. Especially those who are living the lives they've chosen. I did not choose this life. Not from birth until now. My choices, I'm content with, my chances, I'm not. I'm concerned, but I have faith. Not in some higher being, and definitely not in humanity. I have faith in myself. I may need help, but it will be reciprocated. I believe that's who this all is supposed to work. I keep going back to moments from specific walks and thinking about how they'd be different at different times in my life and wishing I'd had a dog, just to see where my life would have taken me. I think about the happiness, the togetherness, the shared moments, but also the reality that these majestic creatures live much shorter lives than you and I. Maybe they're lucky.
Dog walks. This has been the way I've maintained my health, my sanity, and my joy. That, and the immense and pleasurable time I've spent with Swag. Well, other than his waking before the sun comes up and his new habit of trying to break free from the bedroom like it's Alcatraz. I guess for all animals, the home gives safety, security, and shelter, except when it is forced upon us. Funny, heh? I have enjoyed the serenity of the walks, the built-in social distancing, and the slight smiles. It's also dawned on me that people who walk, every day, rain or shine, look a lot better physically than you and I, well most of us. People with pets are happier, It's science. Some walks are better than others. Some bring back memories of times past, some make me look to the future, and some, make me realize how much I've missed out on in life and will never have. Some are just walks. Like all things in life, whenever we do what brings us joy enough, it becomes routine, and we hate them, despite needing them. I am not there yet. I've also thought about the fact that I will not always live here. In fact, if I had my druthers, I'd leave tomorrow. I'd be leaving Helmut, the most beautiful dog I've known since Velya, my childhood Siberian Husky. This dog understands me like no human does. He makes me forget my worries, not for myself, but for others, in these uncertain times. I keep wondering how much he considers me family. He is part of mine. Much more so than actual family.
I miss work. I miss the laughter. I miss little hands holding mine. I miss piggyback rides. I miss being a human jungle gym. I miss seeing the look in a child's eye who thinks I'm invincible. So much so I believe it myself. The "news" has told us we're not. I am tired of listening to other's complaints about their lives. Especially those who are living the lives they've chosen. I did not choose this life. Not from birth until now. My choices, I'm content with, my chances, I'm not. I'm concerned, but I have faith. Not in some higher being, and definitely not in humanity. I have faith in myself. I may need help, but it will be reciprocated. I believe that's who this all is supposed to work. I keep going back to moments from specific walks and thinking about how they'd be different at different times in my life and wishing I'd had a dog, just to see where my life would have taken me. I think about the happiness, the togetherness, the shared moments, but also the reality that these majestic creatures live much shorter lives than you and I. Maybe they're lucky.
Comments
Post a Comment