During even the roughest of years, there is somethings that shine. Grandma's 99th birthday! Almost a year later and she's hanging on for the big one. Can't wait. Laughing with her and my father. Old stories, I've heard 100 times and they never get old. A text Christmas morning. One text, that is all I received, I sent probably 50. Only two people sent to me first all day. Maybe it's me. Good friends, lost loves. My fault as always. Hospital bed, feeling sick, but a week away from the world was invigorating. Unexpected people stepping up and expected people stepping down. Seeing my kids the afternoon after a tragedy. Tears held back, but needed to see them laughing and playing to heal. Dancing til all hours with complete strangers. Laughing at the silliness of others taking their flirtations so seriously. Life is so simple when you don't try so hard to be someone you're not or someone you think the other person wants you to be. Connecting with an old friend on a new, higher level. More than a smile or a nod, but a hello or a joke. Old friends who are always there, who know me, they are so few and so rare. Their health scares worried me more than my own. Trying to learn from my mistakes and I think I'm finally getting the gist of it. A day of family, fun, food. A fire roaring, then faintly crackling as the flames dwindled. I lay, alone, the quiet house creaking as I lay in bed. A couch in the middle of the living room, lit by the almost auburn tinge of the snowy sky. I glance over the sheets to catch the last ember's glow slowly fade, putting an end to the evening, the holidays and in many ways this year. I sleep. Ah, sleep.
Most people I know do not care about knowing the truth or facts, they only care about being the one who passes along information. I wonder if I could privately ask people why they use social media (honestly), what their reason would be. I don't think people without a sense of humor, realize how much fun the world can be. Even during the hard times. So many of us spend time thinking of mistakes and regrets, but if we really think about it, we've probably dodged more bullets than missed boats. You know when you sit by yourself reading, sipping some coffee or tea and you don't think about anything, but what you're doing? That!
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