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New Year's Resolutions - Yeah Right

Each year, we all make a list. It's a dumb list of things we need to give up or have to try.  In writing the list, we make the efforts ahead of us much bigger than they have to be.  We make the simplest things seem insurmountable, because we tie them in with major changes or accomplishments.  I have spent most of 2000-2012 doing for others. Don't misinterpret this as me complaining about not having time or chances to do things for me.  That is not what I'm saying.  What I am saying is that, while it may appear I'm carefree and do what I want, the reality is, I find myself always being the one asked for a hand to help, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.  When the roles are reversed, most times the needy are no longer there, because they have what they need and are too busy.

In 2013, I'm going to say no a lot more. I'm going to pick and choose those I am there for, with the understanding that caring is a two way street.  In the past twenty years, I have helped people move about 40 times (this just roughly off the top of my head), but when I moved, one tiny UHaul truck, I had asked a few for help.  Nobody showed. When my mother was sick and passed away, the number of people who reached out was few, but those people stepped up ten times more than I expected.  When I was going through certain things over the past two years, the people who reached out we a combination of old reliables and surprising face.  Those are the people I want to surround myself with.

So this isn't a threat or meant to demean anyone, but if you find yourself reaching out and there is no reception, please don't be offended.  Look into that proverbial mirror and ask yourself why the person who is always there, isn't.  It doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means our relationship has become so one-sided  I feel a need to balance it out.  I learned something from my parents a long time ago and that was to always give what you can and never expect anything in return. It's taken me 42 years to realize they were beautiful and wise people.  It's also taken me this long to realize, their teaching were the exact opposite from what everyone elses parents were teaching their kids.  Be the best, to the winner goes the spoils and other sickening cliches are the norm.  I'm still going to be a giving person in 2013, but to those that deserve it and need it, not to those that ask for it, never intending to be there when I need them.

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