Subdued. Bus Rides take a lot out of me. It's not the boredom, but the pain. The sharp pain, tingling down my legs, reminding me of age, of times ago, where I'd bounce back from anything. The silence of my father's house, my grandmother's old room, where I slept, is gone. The hiss from the pipes outside my door, the boilers hum and the occasional park of a dog or a car horn all distract me from even the most minor thoughts. All those noises, muffled by the deer filled hill and houses, filled with respectful neighbors. A town with two colleges, yet there are not radios blazing or tires screeching. A civilized world unlike mine. Cab rides to look forward to and their incredible costs. The math is mind boggling. It upsets me actually. Life isn't fair in so many ways, but everyone wants to make a buck, then when they have a buck, they want two. The world's greed makes it so hard to get by. Missed is the taste of the veal chops, the rib eyes and the scallop dinners I just had. Lebanon bologna, olives, French cheeses. If I had money to burn, my pleasures would be so simple. Food, friends and films. I need nothing else. This is the truth I speak. I try to come across as complex, but that is what I need. The serenity brought on by those three things is enough. I am fading now, almost terrified to repeat the dream. An apartment I can't afford, a meal I'll never cook and a girl, I can only hope to get to know as well as I want. I'll awake, saddened. Recoup. A sip of coffee and a hot shower. The kids will make me laugh and I'll see some friends and speak of our weeks. I'll walk home, leisurely, thinking, subdued. Weakened by the weight, not of the world, but of my dreams, so simple in nature, but so difficult to attain. Good Night I'll say, waiting for an answer. Nothing.
This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo
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