Au Revoir, 2018: A Poem

2018, oh what a year
The same in 2019 is what I fear.
It wasn't all bad, so I shouldn't be blue,
I did, in fact, gain a beautiful nephew.

The Winter was snowy, and I shoveled each day,
The irony is, for this to be done, I'm the one who pays.
The Spring came around and there was talk of a birth,
I was walking without pain, and decreasing my girth.
The Summer was spent outside reading and drinking, '
The life of someone wealthy, what was I thinking?
As Autumn stopped by for a very brief show,
I knew the cycle and anticipated snow.

I'm back working with kids and it makes me so happy,
If you knew how much I miss it, you'd probably call me sappy.
I'm trying to find inner peace, much like a lama,
I just can't seem to escape being surrounded by drama.
People around me who have so much more,
Complain and criticize, to me it's a bore.
At home, out, and even at work,
I must keep appearances, not to be a jerk.
People are obsessed with appearances and stuff,
Am I disillusioned to not want enough?

I moved away and my old life seems so far,
I live off the amount I used to spend at the bar.
People wouldn't recognize who I've become,
I don't really care, but of course, there are some.
I've relied on the friendship of a tiny few,
Trying to become someone a little bit new.
Some I've not seen in person for years,
Some have been with me for laughter and tears.
When it comes to love, I don't always show it,
I'm as bad at that, as I am a poet.

At the stroke of midnight, some champagne will burst,
I'll make a promise to make myself first.
I spent much of this year cleaning up after others,
I guess it's payback, the last laugh is my mother's.
I do what I can to make other's lives seem easier,
Even at times, if their mess makes me queasier.
I wish there were times I would speak my mind,
The younger me is getting harder to find.
I know who I am and where I want to be,
It's how to get there that is harder to see.

If 2018 did something to me, that had an effect,
It was the absence of appreciation and lack of respect.
Not from those who love me, like me, and care,
But from those who are seemingly unaware.
Of what I do when they're not here,
And when I don't I see them sneer.

So how do I make 2019 more joyous and full,
It's something my mind will constantly mull.
I just hope I'm not asking the same next December,
This feeling is so familiar, as I remember.
So is it a resolution or a fantasy to want this much more,
To not go through life, as if it's a chore?

I want to always feel as happy, as I am when I'm with Swag,
The most wonderful cat and I do mean to brag.
So what can I say to end this on a note that is brighter,
To enter this year with a burden that's lighter?
I guess I will hope for those I know to find their own peace,
To free them of stress and give their lives a new lease.

To those who will read this and those who will not,
Whether we speak or not, you are not ones I forgot.
I wish you all great happiness and good cheer,
Wishing you joy in the coming New Year!