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Chance, Choice, and Change

This time of year is always filled with reflection and some silly universal feeling that something will change as the clock strikes midnight and our new year begins. The problem is, the clock changes at different times, in different places, and for the most part, we are where we are because of chance. I often wonder how often people who are where they are in the world because of change experience it, for better or for worse. How do we make a change if we are unsatisfied with our locale, whether it be a continent, country, city, or home?

Every year we make resolutions, whether we announce them, document them, or simply think them. We vow to be better people, love more, work harder, save money, lose weight, what have you. We then spend most of the year leaving most of this up to chance, making safe choices, and minor changes. Then, 365 days later, we make some minor adjustments and make these same resolutions. Not much changes and we continue the process, either accepting our fates or in most cases I know, blaming the universe, bad luck, and others on where we are. When we experience the good things in life, we tend to give ourselves full credit and disregard all the same factors that contributed to those situations we deem bad. It's silly really because we convince ourselves that all that is good comes from our choices and that which is bad comes from chance, when the reality is, it all comes from change or the simple lack of.

I don't vow anything, because then who is to be punished for my failures other than myself? I am burdened enough by my past and present failures to add any more weight to the cross I bear. I am going to make small changes, like spend less time doing for others who lack the ability to appreciate. I will take that abundance of time and focus it on those who do or simply need me more. I will open my mouth more to ask questions of that which bothers me. One of the best things I did this past year was open my mouth. While I have at times felt the weight of my decision, I know more people benefitted from it than the one who was deservedly hurt. At times I wondered if they were hampered enough, but I chose to let that go. They made a choice and that choice changed their life. It happens to all of us.

I want nothing more in life other than to be happy and not burdened by others ignorance and laziness. I realize to do this, I need to isolate myself to an extent, then seek out those who are willing to grow with me. Contentment is only a thing after you've stopped achieving and if you believe this, then contentment is in some ways, the end. I want to declutter my life more than I have. Strip myself of unnecessary possessions even further than I have. I may need to strip myself of those who live lives consumed with hoarding, accumulation, and materialism. Most of what we have is junk and I want to live a life of necessity. The distraction of maintaining one's stuff becomes what some call drama, but in reality, it's selfishness, greed, and a complete lack of self-esteem.

Who needs a nice home when their desire is to travel?
Who needs a nice car, when their desire is to be outside?
Who needs a better phone, when they crave social interaction?

People who have an emptiness in their soul need those things listed above. It's not to say that we shouldn't reward ourselves for our achievements, but what does it say about society when simply having our health, relationships, and happiness is not enough. When being able to pick up and be closer to those we love is not more important than sending them a picture of our tablescape from a thousand miles away.

So what do I do to make all the things in my head come true?

Stop leaving so much up to chance, by making a choice to create change.
The first step is to better my environment and create a positive atmosphere around me. One which I can adapt to internally and externally, without sacrifice who I am as a person.

Do I know how to begin? No, but I know how dire things can be and I survived that. I'm ready!

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