Mental Wealth Inequality

Why is it that we put so much value on the things that drive us insane? We're so concerned with appearing to be well off, happy, and living the American Dream, that often, the things we desire destroy us. The irony, of course, is that most of these things are either unnecessary or superfluous. For example, many of us need a car, but very few of us need a car that is either as big, as fast, or simply as expensive as what we are paying. Most of our lives is getting from point A to point B, either physically or metaphorically and the less baggage and constraints, including financial, the better. 

In the news, we are constantly being reminded that mental health in this country is not only weak in terms of treatment, but the plethora of mental disease categories are growing. Another hot topic, is wealth inequality, and for most of us, we're on the short end of that stick. Sadly, the two are tied in, as anyone who lives paycheck-to-paycheck is well too aware of. But why? Is it marketing? Is it social media? Is it an innate feeling of envy we have as children and never truly grow out of? I don't know, but it seems to me, there is a serious problem with mental wealth inequality. 

So what do I mean? 

Think of all the things that bring you true joy? The things that bring a smile to your face and that euphoric feeling you wish to hold onto. Now, think hard about that feeling. Is there a single tangible item that brings that type of joy? Some may say a house, but the reality is, shelter, no matter its appearance is a basic need for us to move forward in our progression as human beings. What we view as necessary or even adequate is the real issue. So if we can all agree that we're not children and tangible items do not give us any true happiness, why then do we continue this way? The problem with materialism is that we get bored with what we have and want newer, better, bigger, more expensive things and the cycle isn't only a financial burden but it starts to wear on us mentally. Most people with lots of stuff are not mentally "wealthy." 

Think about love. Most of us have been in love or are in love now. Most of us have family we love. Love is the biggest value piece in mental wealth because when one loves someone, they have boiled down need to two components. It doesn't get much more simple than that. Not needing anything other than another is more powerful than all the items in the world,. Of course, love comes with pitfalls and stress but then we can think of it as we do the stock market. Generally, despite peaks and valleys, it steadily increases, regardless of what else is going on in the world.

So why does something so simple seem so uncommon? Why do we care more about our paycheck than our job satisfaction? Why do we care about the size of our homes more than what's inside them? Why do we need $200 shoes, an expensive suit, or the top model of this or that? Do any of those things bring us prolonged happiness? Think of the most expensive thing you've ever bought for yourself and think about the joy it brought you in comparison to the worry it brought you and the feeling when it was gone, broken, outdated. Now think about your favorite meal with a loved one. Starting to see what I mean? 

Our memories are our bank in mental wealth and the idea that if we can hold on to that which brings us joy, making a withdrawal is achieved merely by doing what makes us happy with those who bring us joy. Shared happiness is the key and not a single item on Earth can be shared the same way, so it's extra. Most of this is extra. Think about our religions. An entire life lived to achieve a goal when many of us aren't living in an effort not to mess that up. This is how our things and our material desires destroy us. Ironically, coveting them is also a departure from one's faith. 

So maybe the key to mental health (not biological), is to forego our need for equality with physical things and to embrace relationships, people, events, and capture those memories. To not worry about Karen from Facebook's China set on Christmas Day and to worry about who is sitting right in front of you. To now worry if Uncle Joe overcooked the turkey and ruined Thanksgiving and realizing it was time well spent with your kids and grandkids. Maybe that afternoon spent shopping would be better spent at the park, at a movie, or sharing a meal with a loved one. Eyes locked, phones away, connecting. 

I'm financially poor and I've been this way almost my entire life. 

I'm physically middle class and I was once rich and once poor.

I'm mentally rich when it comes to my friends and my family that is important to me.

I have work to do in the home, work, and relationship department but I realize that may very affect my current mental wealth situation positively or negatively. It's a fine balance. I'm still learning about myself, but learning that what makes others happy doesn't make me happy. That's the first step. At least I think it is. 

I'll never be rich in the way today's society views wealth and I'm OK with that.