As I have already stated on Facebook, there seems to be a direct correlation to one's age and the number of people they find attractive. I find that as the years pass, I tend to like more types of women. Not just the buxom brunettes I've always been attracted to. I sometimes wish I knew this when I was younger, because I'm sure there was much more opportunity out there than I ever knew. People always say, "If I knew then, what I know now." Honestly, it couldn't be more true. I've worked with kids since I was about 19 years old. I still work with them and the difference is I'm older than their parents now. I'm sure when I was 19 and in shape, the opportunity (I'm not saying adultery is OK, but for the sake of this argument) was much more present than I ever realized. Now I see these mothers who are my age or younger and they are beautiful. I guess it's one of those things, you'll always wonder about. I know when I look back at my high school yearbook now, the girls I'd found attractive aren't the one's I do now. It's funny, because I think this works in reverse for women. Women get more selective because they are hoping for the right one, while men are looking for the right one now.
I also have noticed that the amount of alcohol it takes for me to feel a buzz has increased on yearly basis. Now most people say they drank the most when they were in their college years. I think it's a fallacy. I think a lot of college kids think they drink a lot, but basically it's the mixture of beer and some horrifying assortment of liqueurs that make them sick and stupid. A few weeks back I probably drank a case of beer in the course of the night. Had a handful of whiskeys, some vodkas, some Jagers, and even threw in a scotch for good measure. Felt absolutely fine. Got home around 3am and was at work, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning at 8am. In my early twenties, I'd be hugging a garbage can and crying for my mommy.
One correlation that really just hit me recently is an odd one. People who are constantly talking about our poor soldiers who are dying in the middle east are the same people who are for the war. The more conservative their views the more they preach about the horrors these young men and women are going through. This is one of those odd correlations, because it's almost 100% true, yet makes no sense whatsoever. Now I'm not saying they do not actually care about those brave kids, but a conservative military sympathizer is somewhat of an oxymoron. If you ask me, in most cases, you can leave off the oxy.
The amount of reality TV/reality game shows people watch and the inability to have an intelligent conversation seems to be in direct correlation. Let's be fair, I have many intelligent friends who fall victim to some of these shows. I don't consider travel and cooking shows reality TV, unless it's something like Top Chef (which I do actually like). I'm talking about shows like the Jersey Shore, Amazing Race, and mortifying ones like Tool Academy. People that watch these shows make fun of them, but they also seem to resemble the characters, both in their look and their speaking patterns. They take on these persona's of people that nobody really likes or wants to be like. Think back to two years ago around this time of year. The number of people you could count in a week who were orange was minimal. Now it's scary. Orange is not a natural human color, ever. Also, I love looking on the pictures on Lohud of the Westchester bar scene and counting the Snookies. It's like a creepy game that never ends. How did this happen? Listen, if I see a woman walk in a bar and she looks like Snookie, I might want to hit her. I love to people watch and listen and to hear these conversations you'd believe that reality TV is like a sieve for the skull. Your brain slowly drips out of your body, leaving nothing but some bits and pieces of sense and interest. It's a sad commentary, not only on our youth, but everyone.
Finally, the one that has baffled me the most. The whole really tall mediocre-to-ugly guy/really short hot girl correlation. Now of course, I can not comment on personalities in many instances, because these are couples viewed from afar. I remember I awoke early one Sunday morning last summer, the sun was shining, birds chirping and I wanted to truly seize the day. I went out and grabbed a bagel and an iced coffee. As I waited in line, one of the most beautiful young women I've ever seen in person walked in. She was about 5'1" and was wearing a nice little yellow sundress and flip flops and she was very tan. She looked like she may have been from Brazil. She was very exotic. She stood next to me and I found myself trying not to stare. All of the sudden, what turned out to be her boyfriend showed up. He was about 6'5". A big pasty white Irish lug. He was wearing ripped jean shorts, an orange t-shirt and a John Deere hat. After my body stopped convulsing, I tried to figure it out. Sure the obvious answer for every average height guy is "he's hung like a bear," but it couldn't of been that simple. The girl bought him breakfast and kept grabbing for his hand. I just couldn't understand it. He may very well have been the nicest guy in the world, but that isn't the point. I kept wondering to myself, "How did he get that shot?" How did this goddess, see this guy and say "yeah I'll give it a try." It just seems to me, every time I see a really short good-looking girl, she's with a goofy big dork. I will never understand it. Unless, maybe it is as simple as a really big dick!
I also have noticed that the amount of alcohol it takes for me to feel a buzz has increased on yearly basis. Now most people say they drank the most when they were in their college years. I think it's a fallacy. I think a lot of college kids think they drink a lot, but basically it's the mixture of beer and some horrifying assortment of liqueurs that make them sick and stupid. A few weeks back I probably drank a case of beer in the course of the night. Had a handful of whiskeys, some vodkas, some Jagers, and even threw in a scotch for good measure. Felt absolutely fine. Got home around 3am and was at work, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning at 8am. In my early twenties, I'd be hugging a garbage can and crying for my mommy.
One correlation that really just hit me recently is an odd one. People who are constantly talking about our poor soldiers who are dying in the middle east are the same people who are for the war. The more conservative their views the more they preach about the horrors these young men and women are going through. This is one of those odd correlations, because it's almost 100% true, yet makes no sense whatsoever. Now I'm not saying they do not actually care about those brave kids, but a conservative military sympathizer is somewhat of an oxymoron. If you ask me, in most cases, you can leave off the oxy.
The amount of reality TV/reality game shows people watch and the inability to have an intelligent conversation seems to be in direct correlation. Let's be fair, I have many intelligent friends who fall victim to some of these shows. I don't consider travel and cooking shows reality TV, unless it's something like Top Chef (which I do actually like). I'm talking about shows like the Jersey Shore, Amazing Race, and mortifying ones like Tool Academy. People that watch these shows make fun of them, but they also seem to resemble the characters, both in their look and their speaking patterns. They take on these persona's of people that nobody really likes or wants to be like. Think back to two years ago around this time of year. The number of people you could count in a week who were orange was minimal. Now it's scary. Orange is not a natural human color, ever. Also, I love looking on the pictures on Lohud of the Westchester bar scene and counting the Snookies. It's like a creepy game that never ends. How did this happen? Listen, if I see a woman walk in a bar and she looks like Snookie, I might want to hit her. I love to people watch and listen and to hear these conversations you'd believe that reality TV is like a sieve for the skull. Your brain slowly drips out of your body, leaving nothing but some bits and pieces of sense and interest. It's a sad commentary, not only on our youth, but everyone.
Finally, the one that has baffled me the most. The whole really tall mediocre-to-ugly guy/really short hot girl correlation. Now of course, I can not comment on personalities in many instances, because these are couples viewed from afar. I remember I awoke early one Sunday morning last summer, the sun was shining, birds chirping and I wanted to truly seize the day. I went out and grabbed a bagel and an iced coffee. As I waited in line, one of the most beautiful young women I've ever seen in person walked in. She was about 5'1" and was wearing a nice little yellow sundress and flip flops and she was very tan. She looked like she may have been from Brazil. She was very exotic. She stood next to me and I found myself trying not to stare. All of the sudden, what turned out to be her boyfriend showed up. He was about 6'5". A big pasty white Irish lug. He was wearing ripped jean shorts, an orange t-shirt and a John Deere hat. After my body stopped convulsing, I tried to figure it out. Sure the obvious answer for every average height guy is "he's hung like a bear," but it couldn't of been that simple. The girl bought him breakfast and kept grabbing for his hand. I just couldn't understand it. He may very well have been the nicest guy in the world, but that isn't the point. I kept wondering to myself, "How did he get that shot?" How did this goddess, see this guy and say "yeah I'll give it a try." It just seems to me, every time I see a really short good-looking girl, she's with a goofy big dork. I will never understand it. Unless, maybe it is as simple as a really big dick!
Jon, just FYI in relation to your last observation about the very hot short girl and ugly tall guy. There is no correlation between height and being "hung like a bear" or actually the phrase is horse.
ReplyDeleteI've done extensive research on the subject and tall guys aren't "hung" better than short guys as a general rule. In fact, there's no relation to shoe size either.
Maybe he's just got a nice personality?
Joe O