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Valentine's Day: Don't Misunderstand

I've had some funny Valentine's in the past.  When I was younger a girl gave me a bag with a box of chocolate and a Teddy Bear.  When I got home, I stopped at my garbage chute and inadvertently threw the presents down the chute and held on to the empty bag.  I bought her an ankle bracelet.  OK, I admit it, in 1989, I was kicking it Jersey Shore-ish.  I made a romantic dinner for another girl one night, with less than stellar cooking skills.  Nothing says romance than a dining room filled with smoke, filet mignon and potato skins.  I've had ex-boyfriends call my at-the-time girlfriend before 8am to wish them a happy "17th" Valentine's Day.  I've also ordered beautiful flowers, only to have them delivered on the 15th.  They ended up paying for them and giving me a gift card, so that was cool.

The point is, Valentine's Day is not an exact science.  For us guys, it's a Hallmark holiday which we'd rather not waste our energy on.  Flowers on V-Day are so expensive and usually of such poor quality, it really isn't worth it.  And Roses?  Does anyone truly like that acrid stench?  I'd much rather receive a candle or something with a fruitier bouquet, but then again, it's not about me.  Valentine's Day has nothing to do with the guy.  It's the one day, where we have to spend money on something that would normally be a third of the price.  Every year, we do our thing, no matter what it may be and we suffer.  All to make you happy for a few hours and with the false pretense that for some reason the sex will be better because of this.  It rarely is.  I can think of only once that it was and it's because there was champagne and chocolate involved....in bed!

Here's the catch with Valentine's Day.  We men, the simpler creatures when it comes to romance, make the huge mistake of asking what you want.  You tell us the cookie cutter answer "I don't care, as long as we're together."  Guys, please do not misread this.  This is not at all what they mean.  What they mean is, "I better get something.  You better do something.  It better be a surprise and it better make my girlfriends and coworkers think you are better than their Neanderthal boyfriends or husbands.

Chocolate and flowers are not for the home. They are to be sent to work, school or anywhere else that your lovely might be seen by others.  Sure she'll bring them home, but your $80 arrangement will never compare to the single rose and sappy card that her father gives her, so forget mattering outside of a social setting with those items.  Then there is the dinner.  Can you prove that you can step it up a notch and not be one of the thousands standing in line waiting for the prix menu on City Island?  Do you have pull to get a table somewhere nice.  Her friend is going to the city for dinner and a show, so what did you plan?  And there better be something happening after the meal.  Even if it's a movie at home, you better make sure you're ready to endure The Notebook or Dirty Dancing for the tenth time.   Don't worry, she'll exaggerate and make it sound like you did more, but make sure you plan.

Here's the thing.  While I am making light of the situation and making it seem as if it's a coup on their part to empty your wallet, I'm joking.  My main point is not to underestimate the importance you your girl.  You don't have to spend a fortune, have front row seats to some show or shower her with diamonds, but you have to make sure you make her feel special.  It might be as simple as a lunchtime phone call, telling her how much you are looking forward to the evening.  A flower or some candy when you see her.  A home cooked meal or some simple takeout, you've already planned.  It's relaxing on the couch, wrapped in blankets, sharing the warmth while watching whatever it is. The most important thing is that you make sure she knows you're thinking about her.  The more simple and more genuine you are, the more it will be appreciated.  If it's not, she's not your true Valentine.

Comments

  1. A woman can't ask for anything more than that! Well said!

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