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Free Writing - Take Twelve

The sun will rise in a few, but will I.  I'm awake, but will I rise?  I've noticed I spend so much time trying to self educate myself.  Just spent forty minutes researching something for what will most likely one day be a four or five paragraph blog.  Unnecessary, yet necessary.  I awake morning after morning and do some sort of puzzle.  I need this.  I fear what is happening to people who are older.  A forgotten memory, some recent some from years back.  The rubber band of life snapping back into the form it was in our youth.  It scares me.  I can't remember people's names at times.  Acquaintances from years ago, some from just a week.  Today I saw two students I've had for the past three years.  They took this session off and their names escape me. It saddens me.  Another mother smiled and waved and her son's name escaped me.  I pride myself on never forgetting my kids names.  I think back to earlier today, comments made that made me question myself briefly, then realizing it wasn't the truth.  Research proves more than just stout belief.  I finally went shopping today.  Three days since I've been home and I finally got some food in the house.  A BLT with avocado was such a perfect meal.  I spent more than I had planned, but some essentials were needed.  Sriracha and Worcesterchire was needed.  $10 added to a bill, but at least they will be staples for a while to come.  Annoyed by the woman who didn't help me bag my groceries, but then looked at her, older than I, the time was 9pm, her day probably started at eight hours before.  I quickly told her I had it and bagged them quickly to give her a few moments rest before the next shopper came in, to take her for granted.  I had planned on a movie tonight, but both movies I had were well over two hours and the adult ADD is setting in. Boredom from loneliness hits hard midweek.  Ten minutes later, the sun is closer to rise.  Will I?

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