Well, everyone one I know who has a kid and knows I don't just skipped over this and called me a name to themselves, but if you're reading just hear me out. I realize when I was a kid, I was looking at it from an adolescents perspective, but the reality was, I wasn't like many kids. My parents made me an integral part of their dinner parties and allowed me to be a sponge, soaking up any knowledge, wisdom or life lessons that maybe they had forgot to pass down. Also, my parents friends liked me.
Let's start off with the basics. Respect. You can teach your kid to be respectful, but that half-hearted, limp-dicked handshake your son just gave me tells me, you failed in that area. You know why kids are jerks to adults? They can be. When I was a teen, I didn't have a cell phone, so that meant if I called a friend or girlfriend, I most likely was going to have to speak to their parents first. This was practice in how to be respectful. A lesson which pays off down the road that is lost on today's youth. Second, family functions were mandatory. I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about friend's families. People were much more tight knit in the days before cell towers and Internet. If my buddy had family over, I was invited. So now I had to make a good impression on those kids. I wasn't sitting in someones living room with a tilted starter cap, trying to look like some rapper I'd be terrified to meet in person, I was me. This is huge later in life and I feel sorry for the kids that don't have to grow up this way.
School. Individuality is a thing of the past. I drive by a school today and see 47 Juicy sweat pant wearing girls and 400 North Face jackets. Hello Dolly the cloned goat! I love seeing the kid with the purple hair these days, because those were the kids who are interesting. They aren't trying to sound like Big Ang or The Situation, they are trying to climb up on the roof and be heard, even if they are shy and reserved. Also, when I was in school it was actually hard. Not as hard as my parents schooling, but hard. The crap that is given today is plain sad. The entire high school experience is catered towards the taking of the SAT, whereas in my day, we went at it about 5-6 weeks. Now what the difference in scores are (not including the new writing part)? About 14 points. That's probably 2-3 more questions correct after three years of practicing. More kids are going to school, but that is more due to the economy and that we weren't always pushed in that direction. Ironically, less kids are graduating high school, so is it working? So your kid isn't getting a proper education and education is an important tool. Educated people tend to be a lot less obnoxious than those who love to yell, scream and bully.
Work. Kids in my day worked 5-6 days a week. May times as many as 30 hours a week. I worked in a movie theater and that was a slow week. Kids today average about 18 hours, if they have a job at all. Less kids work, drive and participate in things than in my day. That's hard to believe because we had so few options. Hard work, even easy work, builds character and there is also the social aspect. Working in a pharmacy and movie theater put me in front of people constantly. Do you know how important public speaking is? Immensely important, because a job interview is essentially a test of how well you can relay your thoughts to others publicly. This is lost on today's lazy, video game and Internet addicted youth.
Inherited situations. I had everything a kid could want growing up. Clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment. Today, kids take that for granted and if they don't have an X Box, a iPhone and their own laptop, they feel like their parents have failed them. I remember buying my first desktop. $1150 of my hard earned money in one shot. I remember buying every article of clothing I owned, every game system, everything. Hell I even split the cost of a brand new car with my parents and gave them a small amount of rent. Kids today do that, but most don't. It taught me to be self sufficient. I've had bumps along the way and Mom & Dad definitely helped whenever they could, so I'm not complaining. Today, when I see what the average 10 year old gets for Christmas or Hanukkah I'm appalled. What lessons have they learned other than "we love you and are willing to go into financial ruin to show it to you, because we're not sure how to talk to you, because we don't have dinner together, because I need to watch Jeopardy and your father is bowling." Sorry, but these circumstances didn't arise in the 80's. Not all, but the families I knew for the most part ate together and those that did were close and the kids all turned out right.
So what are the things today that make me believe that kids are or may become jerks? When I see a father take his kid out to a restaurant and he allows him to leave his hat on while dining or even worse, he himself is wearing a hat. That to me is breeding a disrespectful person. If I had people over to my house and their kid walked in and left his hat on, I'd knock it off his head. Sorry, that's no class. How about kids getting $40-50 for every tooth they lose these days? I got $2. Maybe $5 once. I learned the value of that dollar and how to save if I wanted something. What about cursing? I cursed like a truck driver as a kid and my parents allowed me a lot of leeway at home, but god forbid I should curse in front of company, I'd be a dead man. Punishments? Do kids even get punished anymore? "Honey, no using the car tomorrow isn't a punishment. Taking away a luxury should never be. How about when I was younger. Two weeks of no playing outside. Think I learned my lesson? Damn straight. Think the kid who got picked up by his friend did? Chances are a resounding no.
Now, before people think I've crossed everyone off my list. There are tons of teens who have been granted some luxuries and turned out fine. I have friends who haven't pushed their kids in school, have allowed to much free time, not forced them to work and just general silliness like staying out way too late for their age or to allow behaviors probably not suitable for their age, but there is always that difference. They make up for is by enforcing other stricter policies, they talk to their kids and allow other to talk to them about dangers and things ramifications. Those kids are usually the ones who might worry telling their parents, but will come to a friend of the family. Those are the ones who won't get in the car with the drunk driver and use that cell phone they've been given under the guise of it being an emergency tool. Those kids will be fine, but they are not the norm sadly. I love kids and have worked with ages 5-17 over the last 20+ years. I want them to succeed and I love when they do. Almost every success story started out with a kid who was a little different than the pack, tried a little harder, was made to work a little harder and who was taught to appreciate what they have, no matter how little. And please do not misunderstand, I do not mean financial success, but success as a human being. They may have all those things I just stated, but if they've never understood how to respect others, it's all for naught and teaching it, ones own personal way, doesn't always mean it is learned. It all starts at home and I have said this about many kids sadly over my years. "You know what, that kid is a real jerk, but you know what, I know where it comes from."
Let's start off with the basics. Respect. You can teach your kid to be respectful, but that half-hearted, limp-dicked handshake your son just gave me tells me, you failed in that area. You know why kids are jerks to adults? They can be. When I was a teen, I didn't have a cell phone, so that meant if I called a friend or girlfriend, I most likely was going to have to speak to their parents first. This was practice in how to be respectful. A lesson which pays off down the road that is lost on today's youth. Second, family functions were mandatory. I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about friend's families. People were much more tight knit in the days before cell towers and Internet. If my buddy had family over, I was invited. So now I had to make a good impression on those kids. I wasn't sitting in someones living room with a tilted starter cap, trying to look like some rapper I'd be terrified to meet in person, I was me. This is huge later in life and I feel sorry for the kids that don't have to grow up this way.
School. Individuality is a thing of the past. I drive by a school today and see 47 Juicy sweat pant wearing girls and 400 North Face jackets. Hello Dolly the cloned goat! I love seeing the kid with the purple hair these days, because those were the kids who are interesting. They aren't trying to sound like Big Ang or The Situation, they are trying to climb up on the roof and be heard, even if they are shy and reserved. Also, when I was in school it was actually hard. Not as hard as my parents schooling, but hard. The crap that is given today is plain sad. The entire high school experience is catered towards the taking of the SAT, whereas in my day, we went at it about 5-6 weeks. Now what the difference in scores are (not including the new writing part)? About 14 points. That's probably 2-3 more questions correct after three years of practicing. More kids are going to school, but that is more due to the economy and that we weren't always pushed in that direction. Ironically, less kids are graduating high school, so is it working? So your kid isn't getting a proper education and education is an important tool. Educated people tend to be a lot less obnoxious than those who love to yell, scream and bully.
Work. Kids in my day worked 5-6 days a week. May times as many as 30 hours a week. I worked in a movie theater and that was a slow week. Kids today average about 18 hours, if they have a job at all. Less kids work, drive and participate in things than in my day. That's hard to believe because we had so few options. Hard work, even easy work, builds character and there is also the social aspect. Working in a pharmacy and movie theater put me in front of people constantly. Do you know how important public speaking is? Immensely important, because a job interview is essentially a test of how well you can relay your thoughts to others publicly. This is lost on today's lazy, video game and Internet addicted youth.
Inherited situations. I had everything a kid could want growing up. Clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment. Today, kids take that for granted and if they don't have an X Box, a iPhone and their own laptop, they feel like their parents have failed them. I remember buying my first desktop. $1150 of my hard earned money in one shot. I remember buying every article of clothing I owned, every game system, everything. Hell I even split the cost of a brand new car with my parents and gave them a small amount of rent. Kids today do that, but most don't. It taught me to be self sufficient. I've had bumps along the way and Mom & Dad definitely helped whenever they could, so I'm not complaining. Today, when I see what the average 10 year old gets for Christmas or Hanukkah I'm appalled. What lessons have they learned other than "we love you and are willing to go into financial ruin to show it to you, because we're not sure how to talk to you, because we don't have dinner together, because I need to watch Jeopardy and your father is bowling." Sorry, but these circumstances didn't arise in the 80's. Not all, but the families I knew for the most part ate together and those that did were close and the kids all turned out right.
So what are the things today that make me believe that kids are or may become jerks? When I see a father take his kid out to a restaurant and he allows him to leave his hat on while dining or even worse, he himself is wearing a hat. That to me is breeding a disrespectful person. If I had people over to my house and their kid walked in and left his hat on, I'd knock it off his head. Sorry, that's no class. How about kids getting $40-50 for every tooth they lose these days? I got $2. Maybe $5 once. I learned the value of that dollar and how to save if I wanted something. What about cursing? I cursed like a truck driver as a kid and my parents allowed me a lot of leeway at home, but god forbid I should curse in front of company, I'd be a dead man. Punishments? Do kids even get punished anymore? "Honey, no using the car tomorrow isn't a punishment. Taking away a luxury should never be. How about when I was younger. Two weeks of no playing outside. Think I learned my lesson? Damn straight. Think the kid who got picked up by his friend did? Chances are a resounding no.
Now, before people think I've crossed everyone off my list. There are tons of teens who have been granted some luxuries and turned out fine. I have friends who haven't pushed their kids in school, have allowed to much free time, not forced them to work and just general silliness like staying out way too late for their age or to allow behaviors probably not suitable for their age, but there is always that difference. They make up for is by enforcing other stricter policies, they talk to their kids and allow other to talk to them about dangers and things ramifications. Those kids are usually the ones who might worry telling their parents, but will come to a friend of the family. Those are the ones who won't get in the car with the drunk driver and use that cell phone they've been given under the guise of it being an emergency tool. Those kids will be fine, but they are not the norm sadly. I love kids and have worked with ages 5-17 over the last 20+ years. I want them to succeed and I love when they do. Almost every success story started out with a kid who was a little different than the pack, tried a little harder, was made to work a little harder and who was taught to appreciate what they have, no matter how little. And please do not misunderstand, I do not mean financial success, but success as a human being. They may have all those things I just stated, but if they've never understood how to respect others, it's all for naught and teaching it, ones own personal way, doesn't always mean it is learned. It all starts at home and I have said this about many kids sadly over my years. "You know what, that kid is a real jerk, but you know what, I know where it comes from."
Comments
Post a Comment