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The Twilight Saga - Finally Thoughts

Usually I steer clear of things I know I'm going to hate, but when the first Twilight came out, I have to admit I was intrigued by the movies.  I knew women my age who couldn't put down the books and there was no way I was sitting down to read an 800 page love story, knowing there was a 650 page sequel or more.  Sp way back, about five years, I somewhat begrudgingly sat down for the first installment.  What I found was all the perfect components of the teen love story.  Much like those of the past, even some from the great John Hughes, the teens are well older than they should be and we suspend disbelief and realize these kids are living crazy lives.  Oh and some are werewolves and some are vampires.  Like I said, you must go into it with an open mind.

Any historian of film and literature understands that the vampire tale is one of torment and lost love.  R.W. Marnau's Nosferatu probably epitomized the struggle.  The ever living man, torn between his desire for love and his thirst for blood.  His knowledge that he will never find love.  Twilight takes all the rules of vampires and throws them out the window   By the end of the series, if you don't think about it too much, the vampires stand in front of mirrors, hang out with werewolves and kiss in the sunlight.

Don't get me wrong about this franchise.  It is filled with peaks and valleys and littered with some of the worst acting and worst screenwriting you'll ever see.  When the young protagonist yells "Nessie, you nicknamed my child after the Loch Ness Monster?" The belly laugh incurred was uncontrollable.  This unintended comedy, while not a highlight for most, was what made me like the movies.  Gathered are a bunch of pretty below average actors, who are making millions and having the time of their lives.  With the exception of maybe the father, played by Billy Burke, the acting is plastic, sometimes bordering on the worst you'll ever see.  There is almost no chemistry between the two leads, who actually dated in real life, but this adds to the "vampire-feel."  Here's where the film gets it right.  There are some damn fine looking people in this flick and speaking from a man's point of view, last night getting to look at Ashley Greene and Myanna Buring for two hours, did not stink.

So where does Twilight stand, now that I've seen them all. It's average, but that makes it likable.  The initial episode is above average, the second installment is mediocre, the third is enjoyable, the fourth is terrible and the finale wraps everything together nicely and does so in entertaining fashion.  One should not underestimate the wonderful overacting of Michael Sheen, who is normally a brilliant actor, having fun, making a mockery of his own character and doing so deliciously. Oh, and I do not know if this played true to the book, but watch closely at the end, when Alice has her vision, because if you really think about it, it's the "what the fuck" moment of all-time.  Not since the girl who had the abortion getting back with the jerk in Last American Virgin or the final scene of Sleepaway Camp has there been a more shocking moment and it's done so in such a way, most probably didn't even notice.  Trust me, it's scandalous.

For those of you who question my judgement and think I'm downplaying how bad it is, when it is truly bad, remember this.  Even the Star Wars trilogy had it's mediocrity.  Return of the Jedi, was eh, at best and the acting was awful,  but as a whole the trilogy stood up.  The Godfather trilogy is the best there ever was, even with the average at best third installment. The Jaws series ended up terribly, but the first two are incredible. Every long standing series will have its pitfalls, but the reality is, Twilight is actually a decent ride.  It pains me as a 42 year old man to admit it, but if I was in my teens to early 20s, these movies would define my generation in terms of the teen love story, which has become a lost art, unless you're willing to delve deep into independent movies, which paint a much darker picture of the teen years I lived through.  Twilight combines two genres and actually makes it work. Let's just hope it's really done.

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