Circumstance Does Not Create Loyalty

I recently watched a Korean film titled Friend. It was about four boys who grew up together and despite going in separate directions with their choices, they are often reconnected by chance or circumstance. The film is a gangster film, but the heart of it is really an examination of the bonds formed by circumstance versus loyalty. What I took away from it is that circumstance or location does not necessarily equate to loyalty. Loyalty is a choice and one that can change depending on new circumstances or events. Does one's loyalty to his friends change when distance separates them? That is up to them; both of them. Does loyalty change when the opportunity arises, even if the opportunity means gain at the expense of loyalty? Again, this is a choice. Does the group dynamic change for all based on the decision of one? The simple answer is yes, but that is not to say that there might not be a member whose loyalty is unwavering, even if he supports both affected parties differently. Group dynamics is a tricky thing and this movie proves it. What it also proves is that even when greed corrupts loyalty, it cannot change the past. The past, and the bonds formed because of it, can never be changed, even if those bonds are shattered.

While the movie was very good, it was not great. I have thought about it often over the past two days and I think its impact will linger much longer. Possibly, although not immediately, I will revisit this film. I will watch it hopefully in a different place, surrounded by different constants in my life, and I will look back on the bonds I've created with some, those who I still value and who still value me, and those which have been broken, both through fault, lack of effort, and simply by circumstance. Some may call the last laziness. When one chooses not to change, it is a choice, but when one's change is simply location, both parties have to make a choice. I fault no one, even if I forget this often. For it is I who left, and I carried the burden of continuing to hold these bonds together. I made a choice, as did they, but it was and always will be mine first. The only pain comes from knowing, I am still loyal to them, I simply choose not to show it out of fear. Fear it will not be reciprocated, simply because people correlate distance with the burden of time, also known as being busy. For some, this happened long before I moved and I often try to remind myself of this fact, as not to lay the burden of these broken bonds all on myself. I look at my own family and realize we're all the same and it takes special people to continue what was built when the pieces aren't present. That takes strength and with most, I've been as weak as them; even weaker. I thank others for having the strength, because it gives me strength. That strength is loyalty and it is not nearly as common as some might think.