Americans are capitalists. This, over time, has caused a social phenomenon of wanting more. Whether it be money, houses, cars, relationships, or trinkets, we are obsessed with having more. A side effect of this phenomenon is being obsessed with showing we deserve more, because, in our minds, we do more. This isn't as simple as it sounds. Trust me.
Recently, I've witnessed a few situations where people in relationships, both intimate and plutonic, have seemed very concerned with the concept of more, but most times miss a key factor. There's the woman who arrived to work early and the man who showed up on time. This occurred three days in a row, then on the fourth, the woman was late and the man was early. She asked him if he put in for his time and he snickered. He commented that, while he was early, his shift did not begin until a specific time, therefore, despite his punctuality, he did not deserve to be paid for his time. Angered, she said she always put in for her time. Her response created two scenarios. One, her belief her actual time was more valuable than the time she spent working, and two, the frustration on the man's part that he has cost himself possible wages. The amount of work they do at their job had become irrelevant. I should add, they make the same wage per hour.
The second scenario was a man and woman in a relationship. She was working, he was not. Every day, she commented on how hard she had worked, while he commented on how nice it was to have time off. Their schedules had both changed, but it was obvious, the previous 11 months had seen him much busier, while she worked part-time. It took all of three days for animosity to grow. He then found work helping a friend. On his first day, his morning was canceled. When they arrived at home, she was unaware. Upon finding out, she immediately started speaking of her full day. The following day, she was home earlier. She immediately asked him about his day, something she never did before. He explained the work, and that he was asked to do more work the following days to come. She seemed pleased. She then told him a minor story of her day and they began to eat. During the meal, she explained some minor detail of some coworker's day and he embellished on a story of his. As the conversations continued, competition seemed to arise. This continued as they ate the food he picked up on his way home. During his apology for being late and the food not being as hot as it should have been, he mentioned he had stopped for a beer. The tension mounted and when he let slip that he had not started work until half-past eleven, she quietly simmered. Later, after multiple one-up stories, they dropped it. Both oddly, did not have to be awake early the next day, and seemed content with this mutual situation. But it' is still there.
These are only two scenarios I've witnessed recently, but it is also a daily gripe in our society. There are people who are overly concerned with who makes more, who works more hours, who gets more overtime, who gets more time off, who gets to work on time and who comes late, and most often, who does more. In all these scenarios, animosity heightens, greed and jealousy are exhibited, and negativity envelopes the individuals involved. There is one enormous detail that is usually ignored.
Who achieved more?
Do not misread this. This is not: Who worked more? It is not: Who worked harder? It is not: Who made more money? It is not even: Who was recognized more? It is what it says it is and it's a slippery slope for some.
Is the tutor who successfully explained long division to a frustrated child not deemed to have achieved more than the teacher who taught twenty kids, with half still confused? Is the man who drove 100 miles to promote his company, successfully securing funding for the coming season, not more of an achiever than the others who did what they do from 8-4 every day? Is the customer service representative, who calmed a customer, eased their concerns, and fixed their problem, leaving that customer feeling victorious and allegiance to the company, not more "successful" that day than the salesman who had a 20% success rate? It's difficult to quantify, but it's the most important aspect of these arguments and it's the least detail argued. Why?
We actually don't care about workplace success in how it is meant to be measured. We care about bonuses, large checks, numbers, sales, and profits, but we rarely care about anyone affected by our labors, other than ourselves. I know we say we do, but do we? How many who read this would sacrifice their car, their home, their financial security to know that their work has positively affected lives and that they will never know how much? Saying it doesn't make it true, but the number of people you know who would do this is minimal, if there are any at all.
Achievement, I mean true achievement, can not be measured with hours or dollars. It can not be measured by the amount of sweat put in or the amount of personal burden one puts on themselves. Al jobs are different and all jobs, for the most part, benefit others, but how many make a difference? We can tell ourselves we are valued and we can be told we are valued, but our value, is often never seen, never recognized, and often a product of our ability to never get caught up in the very arguments discussed earlier. I am guilty of all and feel as if I am taken for granted daily. I voice it often, but never to anyone who might believe they are being attacked or called out. I voice it to others who feel the same, but go on quietly, knowing their time, and their literal blood, sweat, and tears, mean nothing to anyone other than those who may never thank them or even know they've been helped until long after we've parted.
The next time you feel you've done more, think about who you've done more for. Ask yourself how you're measuring more and if your measurement is based on personal feelings or are you simply just comparing yourself to ones who have contributed similarly. If this still troubles or confuses you, think of it this way. Which is more of an achievement?
Think of a homeless shelter, the tasks, the costs, the hours, etc
Think of everything involved, from the money, the hours, the time, the resources, the hard work, the praise and being ignored, the paychecks, the bonuses, the promotions, the lives; all of them.
Who did more? Who worked harder? Who achieved more?
Providing funding for a building to be built
Drawing the plans for the building
Buying the materials needed for the building
Building the building
Hiring staff for the building
Moving into the building
Providing food for those in the building
Providing support for those in the building
Moving out of the building
Did anyone have the same answer for all three? I sure hope not.
Now, can you point the aspects of this concept at yourself?
Recently, I've witnessed a few situations where people in relationships, both intimate and plutonic, have seemed very concerned with the concept of more, but most times miss a key factor. There's the woman who arrived to work early and the man who showed up on time. This occurred three days in a row, then on the fourth, the woman was late and the man was early. She asked him if he put in for his time and he snickered. He commented that, while he was early, his shift did not begin until a specific time, therefore, despite his punctuality, he did not deserve to be paid for his time. Angered, she said she always put in for her time. Her response created two scenarios. One, her belief her actual time was more valuable than the time she spent working, and two, the frustration on the man's part that he has cost himself possible wages. The amount of work they do at their job had become irrelevant. I should add, they make the same wage per hour.
The second scenario was a man and woman in a relationship. She was working, he was not. Every day, she commented on how hard she had worked, while he commented on how nice it was to have time off. Their schedules had both changed, but it was obvious, the previous 11 months had seen him much busier, while she worked part-time. It took all of three days for animosity to grow. He then found work helping a friend. On his first day, his morning was canceled. When they arrived at home, she was unaware. Upon finding out, she immediately started speaking of her full day. The following day, she was home earlier. She immediately asked him about his day, something she never did before. He explained the work, and that he was asked to do more work the following days to come. She seemed pleased. She then told him a minor story of her day and they began to eat. During the meal, she explained some minor detail of some coworker's day and he embellished on a story of his. As the conversations continued, competition seemed to arise. This continued as they ate the food he picked up on his way home. During his apology for being late and the food not being as hot as it should have been, he mentioned he had stopped for a beer. The tension mounted and when he let slip that he had not started work until half-past eleven, she quietly simmered. Later, after multiple one-up stories, they dropped it. Both oddly, did not have to be awake early the next day, and seemed content with this mutual situation. But it' is still there.
These are only two scenarios I've witnessed recently, but it is also a daily gripe in our society. There are people who are overly concerned with who makes more, who works more hours, who gets more overtime, who gets more time off, who gets to work on time and who comes late, and most often, who does more. In all these scenarios, animosity heightens, greed and jealousy are exhibited, and negativity envelopes the individuals involved. There is one enormous detail that is usually ignored.
Who achieved more?
Do not misread this. This is not: Who worked more? It is not: Who worked harder? It is not: Who made more money? It is not even: Who was recognized more? It is what it says it is and it's a slippery slope for some.
Is the tutor who successfully explained long division to a frustrated child not deemed to have achieved more than the teacher who taught twenty kids, with half still confused? Is the man who drove 100 miles to promote his company, successfully securing funding for the coming season, not more of an achiever than the others who did what they do from 8-4 every day? Is the customer service representative, who calmed a customer, eased their concerns, and fixed their problem, leaving that customer feeling victorious and allegiance to the company, not more "successful" that day than the salesman who had a 20% success rate? It's difficult to quantify, but it's the most important aspect of these arguments and it's the least detail argued. Why?
We actually don't care about workplace success in how it is meant to be measured. We care about bonuses, large checks, numbers, sales, and profits, but we rarely care about anyone affected by our labors, other than ourselves. I know we say we do, but do we? How many who read this would sacrifice their car, their home, their financial security to know that their work has positively affected lives and that they will never know how much? Saying it doesn't make it true, but the number of people you know who would do this is minimal, if there are any at all.
Achievement, I mean true achievement, can not be measured with hours or dollars. It can not be measured by the amount of sweat put in or the amount of personal burden one puts on themselves. Al jobs are different and all jobs, for the most part, benefit others, but how many make a difference? We can tell ourselves we are valued and we can be told we are valued, but our value, is often never seen, never recognized, and often a product of our ability to never get caught up in the very arguments discussed earlier. I am guilty of all and feel as if I am taken for granted daily. I voice it often, but never to anyone who might believe they are being attacked or called out. I voice it to others who feel the same, but go on quietly, knowing their time, and their literal blood, sweat, and tears, mean nothing to anyone other than those who may never thank them or even know they've been helped until long after we've parted.
The next time you feel you've done more, think about who you've done more for. Ask yourself how you're measuring more and if your measurement is based on personal feelings or are you simply just comparing yourself to ones who have contributed similarly. If this still troubles or confuses you, think of it this way. Which is more of an achievement?
Think of a homeless shelter, the tasks, the costs, the hours, etc
Think of everything involved, from the money, the hours, the time, the resources, the hard work, the praise and being ignored, the paychecks, the bonuses, the promotions, the lives; all of them.
Who did more? Who worked harder? Who achieved more?
Providing funding for a building to be built
Drawing the plans for the building
Buying the materials needed for the building
Building the building
Hiring staff for the building
Moving into the building
Providing food for those in the building
Providing support for those in the building
Moving out of the building
Did anyone have the same answer for all three? I sure hope not.
Now, can you point the aspects of this concept at yourself?
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