Hop's Thoughts

Every day of my life I have laughed off serious events that could or did impact my life. That is not to say I did not take them seriously, but I have always looked at things from the "what's the worst case scenario" viewpoint. Now don't misunderstand, I do not go into things assuming failure or even anything other than success, but in my mind I always ask myself, what is the worst that could come of it. So, you'd assume I'm going to talk about something bad happening. Nope, that is not at all the case. What I've noticed recently is that people all around me put so much importance in nothing.  The weather, the traffic, what to have for dinner, is my kid dressed warmly enough, etc. Listen, I get safety, health and the enjoyment of life, but the stress over every little thing in life, doesn't only affect the one doing it, but it tears at those of us who don't really care. I'm not saying we don't care about those we love and are friends with,...

So funny, seeing things from afar. Even those I didn't normally see in person, I see so differently. The sun shined today, seemingly the first time in a week, but not really. I felt fatigued, even symptoms to that in which, knock on wood, I haven't experienced in two years, maybe even three. The scraping sound of a ladder, familiar to my memories, sounded outside the window. Finally the slumber began and I awoke, still groggy, but aware. The ache was gone, but the cloudiness remained and for the first time in ages, I took a pill to relieve the pain. A nice dinner and a better baseball game put me in a brighter mood. I really started thinking later in the night and it made me realize that so much of what makes us happy in this world is simply our ability to shut off our cares. In many cases, to turn off our brains. Some are masters of this and some it comes more naturally, but it is, albeit not one I desire, a true gift. I also thought about how other's decisions, even in th...

Most people I know do not care about knowing the truth or facts, they only care about being the one who passes along information. I wonder if I could privately ask people why they use social media (honestly), what their reason would be.  I don't think people without a sense of humor, realize how much fun the world can be. Even during the hard times.  So many of us spend time thinking of mistakes and regrets, but if we really think about it, we've probably dodged more bullets than missed boats.  You know when you sit by yourself reading, sipping some coffee or tea and you don't think about anything, but what you're doing? That!

I try not curse on social media or in my blog. I find it's immature, but holy fucking shit. How is it possible that out of 594 people, I couldn't find one positive original post in two full days. Sure there was the obligatory "my kid is so fucking cute (because you probably feel guilty for punishing them)" daily pics or the "I loved this so much I had to share it" or the usual "I am doing this fucking nothing for this bullshit charity, which I'm not even sure is real, but I look like a kind soul, so fuck it, I'll post this ribbon or wear this shirt or whatever" picture, but I mean original thought. Not a single, "hey today is going to be a good day" or "I'm proud of myself for not being a total fuckwad" or maybe even "you know what, my kid ain't perfect, but he tried so hard today." Nothing. Not one single post like that. So what I started doing was blocking all the shared links that people share daily....

As I listen and read the comments from people and the in-depth look into their lives, I have to question everything they say. How can your family be so strong, but you are always so angry, upset or stressed. How can someone be so upset at everything around them and so comforted by their kids, spouse or loved ones?  My support system has always been small and even in the deepest depths of sadness and stress, it's those moments with them, if even just to hear their voice, that I gain strength and perseverance to move on. I've come to the sad realization that I am in a very small minority. I'm in now way belittling anyone who is going through anything difficult, but it seems to me those problems wouldn't be nearly as catastrophic had they the support of even a single individual, who really had their backs. In many ways, this blog is just a continuation of what I write about so often, which is reality vs perception. We so desperately want people to see us as perfect, but ...

Originally posted as a Facebook status for my red majority friends. Now you see why people hate me. I don't exactly do Facebook properly.  As promised....like anyone where I live(d) cares, they just swallow the red pill and they're done. Well, it appears the conservatives are getting wise. Every election, they request, report and pound us over the head with unrelenting information about polls. WHY? They know that if they report that a democratic candidate is winning, historically that means that liberals will not go out to vote. Thus making the election closer and in many cases, actually throwing the election to their side. It's hard to believe this, but that liberal media you keep hearing about is generally owned and operated by a conservative with conservative ads and conservative messages. It's only that when it's not, we hear about it. So, it's been brought to the attention of anyone paying any, that no major polls have come out in two weeks. So I asked...

Someone had posted this on Facebook as somewhat of a challenge. To think of the five things that have happened that have altered your life. I commented before they had written, that this is interesting, but it has the potential to become five things that happened to other people that affected you. She wrote two versions. I'm actually going to try and write one, sticking to what has happened to me directly. My being adopted. Nothing in my life had a larger and more positive affect on my life. Has everything gone the way I'd write it from the beginning? Of course not, but the life I was afforded is the life I know and I wouldn't change the upbringing and the love I've been shown in my life for anything. Acceptance into St. Ann's. At the time, while living in Brooklyn, St. Ann's was legendary. Considered by most to be the best school in the five boroughs and by many to be the best school in the state. While I was too young to really understand the magnitude, I ...