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Expressions I Hate

The Honeymoon Is Over - This seems to me to be on of the most horrible sayings.  People use this all the time, but what does it say about our views on marriage.  Years of courtship, a big or small wedding and then a trip to some exotic local or sentimental place.  One week later, you're done?  Is the reality of marriage so bad?  Percentages are leaning towards a "yes" and from my experiences talking to most married couples, it's not a joy ride.  It just seems like the commitment to spend your life with someone should be looked upon with more hope than the unrealistic week of sex, sand and sangria.

What Goes Around Comes Around (AKA Karma) - I hate this, because it's not true.  People who do bad things, consistently do bad things and nothing bad ever happens to them.  Then there are most of us, who normally do good things, choose others over ourselves and we get fucked on the regular.  I've saved people from being beaten, being raped, being abducted (I'm not joking either) and probably in some of the cases being killed.  I've done those things more than I've done bad and what do I get.  A life of kicks, square to the nuts, while people who could care less about anyone but themselves have the good life.  This saying isn't as annoying as it is a fallacy. Life is not a boomerang, it's a freaking cannonball and it always seems to be aimed right at my crotch.


Just Give It The Old College Try - Unless I'm trying to bang a classmate this means nothing to me.  I usually sat in class, drooled on myself and then went to work. I was surrounded by miscreants who smelled like PBR and bad weed.  They were dumber than dirt, but usually had access to the test before we took it, so there goes that who trying thing.  College is all about stamina.  Lasting the four or more painfully, excruciatingly boring years and being able to rack up enough debt so that your first job feels insignificant and worthless.  Yes, this is something everyone should always strive for.  Go team!

Conventional Wisdom - Huh?  The average person you come across in your day to day travels is dumber than dirt.  Think about it.  If you have and IQ in the 130 and over range, about 85% of the world is dumber than you.  Sure they can fix a tire faster and make you feel foolish you can't open a jar of apple sauce, but the reality is, when it comes to wisdom, you don't want to be conventional.  If the majority of the public believes it to be true, it's horseshit.  When did thinking for yourself or having a differing impression become a negative.  Conventional Wisdom told us slavery was good, women were not our equals and that gays are sinners.  Yeah, that worked out well.

And the mother of all annoying expressions.

K.I.S.S. or Keep It Simple Stupid - this drives me nuts.  Sure if you're explaining quantum physics to someone who is third grade, you're going to simplify it, but aside from this, it's an excuse for people to now have to learn.  I laugh when people use this when talking about someone explaining some aspect of their home.  People use this when they want to convey they don't have the time or energy to learn something, they just want to be able to use it.  What they really are saying is that they are too lazy to learn something that would probably take them five minutes to master if they didn't feel it was beneath them.  I always loved when I did customer service at my old job and people would  ask why yearly maintenance was necessary.  The second the reasoning was slightly involved, they would stop me and tell me they would hold off for the time being.  Then six months later when their system failed due to some problem that could have been avoided, they claimed they were unaware.  Guess by keeping it simple, they became stupid.

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