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TGIF - It's Not Just For Friday Anymore

TGIF is one of the most annoying little anagrams out there.  It drives me nuts. It really means, thank goodness today I have to work, but later I'll spend twice as much as I normally would because I don't have a significant other and I need to pay for my own drinks, but hopefully I'll get drunk enough to get laid and maybe this time the guy/girl will still be there when I wake up.  Then I'll kill Saturday because I'm hung over or worried I'm pregnant/have an STD.  Then I'll try and make up for feeling like shit Saturday, by partying so hard that Monday feels like an abomination.  TGIF

So I've thought of some more realistic definitions.

On a blind date and you get a text asking how it's going: TGIF - The Girl/Guy Is Fat

When asked about your pregnancy test: TGIF - Thank God I Failed

When you eat something you think is mozzarella: TGIF - Thank God It's Feta

When you show up late to softball and find an empty field - The Game Is Friday

When your joints hurt and you had shellfish - The Gout Is Flaring

When your friend is questioning your hookup - That Girl Is Female?

At Mardi Gras - Tits! Girls! It's Fabulous!

Fun Blind Date - The Girl/Guy Is Freaky

Watching a little guy fight a big guy - This Guy Is Fucked

Important to know when playing golf - The Green Is Firm

Thing I need to remember - Tonic + Gin = I Fight

When something is too good to be true - This Gimmick Is Fishy

and finally

When you finally leave this mad, mad, mad world - Thank God I Finished!


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