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Rhetorical Questions Based On Facebook Statuses

Why do people threaten to unfriend people for making political posts?

It's humorous, because the people that posts these idle threats are the ones who always want you to donate to their save the whales foundation or want you to feel for them when they are sick.  Why are their lives so important to discuss, but the other 311 million people aren't?  Oh and yes, your post about the Jersey Shore premiere really struck a chord in me and had me wanting for more information as to lives of these neanderthals.

If you want people to sympathize with your problems, why are you so cryptic?

I love when I see a post, saying something along the lines of "So many worries...waiting to find out."  This is usually followed by tons of messages that pour in from best friends telling them they will call when they can.  Does any of this need to be played out on Facebook.  The other day, there was one, followed by about sixty messages with the a message about someone's pet.  Now don't get me wrong, I get the love we share with out pets, but let people know that in the message.  So many worries and waiting, implies someone is in the hospital and that causes mass concern for friends and family.  Plus, if you are a friend or family, responding on Facebook probably isn't a sign of devotion.

Why do people post their family vacation plans and the times they will be away?

Do people not realize all the loopholes their are and how easy a hacker can get your information?  So when you have pictures of your kids in your front yard and you've got your town listed, it doesn't take a genius to figure out which house is yours.  Google maps will drive them right to your door.  I'd love to know just how many break-ins are a result of this stupidity.

Why do people post political articles or quotes that aren't based on fact?

I realize we all have biases, but why do people put up things that are easily proven false?  Would they post that they are gay if they aren't?  Would they like it if someone posted they are a racist on their page just as a joke?  To me it seems silly in this day and age to post something, you know is most likely false and will raise eyebrows.  What bothers me most is when these people defend these posts and refuse to see if they are correct.  Assuming that the Internet is an omnipotent source of truth.

Why do girls post pictures where you can clearly see through their shirts, then get mad when people make comments about their boobs?

Listen, the technology in camera phones is a bizarre one, in that it has some X-ray powers.  Ladies, if you are proud of your body and your bra, more power too you, but if you're prudish, don't post.  If you don't want your male friends speaking of your cleavage, then desist the tit shots.  Your bodies are beautiful and you want us to see it, but you don't want us to comment.  Sorry to inform you, but that's why it's called a social network.  People see, comment and discuss.  Get over yourselves.

Does the weather ever really effect you unless you're driving or at an outdoor event?

I swear, I've written whole blogs on the fucking rain, because it's amazing.  It's natures shower, cleaning away the filth that we create and usually acts as a natural cooling mechanism for all of us.  I'm sorry your bumper to bumper traffic was made possible by the one jackass who didn't slow down in the wet stuff, but don't blame the rain.  I don't have a car right now and I revel my late night walks in a little drizzle. It's refreshing and makes me feel alive. Sure as hell beats the sweltering sun baking me and making me sweat.  Plus, is there anything sexier than getting caught in the rain with a loved one, coming home and stripping out of the wet clothes together.  Something usually good comes of this.

Why do people like sad statuses?

I understand our need to hang on everyone's word.  OK, I don't, but I know some people like statuses to follow them.  For some reason, my phone doesn't do that.  What I do know is that it's a disturbing trend.  It's more of our numbing to real life events.  Have you ever sat across from someone who told you their mother was diagnosed with lymphoma, had them ask you to pray for her and looked them in the eye and said "I like that."  No, because you'd be seen as a ghoul.  So why do it on Facebook.  I like my friend's kid losing his first tooth, unless of course the neighbors kid knocked it out. I like my friends getting married or meeting someone they like.  I like these things, because they are likable. I don't like hearing stories of illness or pain.  Why should anyone?

Why do so many more people comment on sad or angry posts than on happy posts?

I commented about something bad the other day and had tons of responses (and likes).  Then today, I posted that something good might happen and got a puzzled response and a joke. I received two appropriate likes, but that was it. Why are people so obsessed with other's despair?  A few months ago, someone wrote something online about finally being happy.  I shit you not, I received about six messages via Facebook and text saying they were full of shit and asking what they have to be happy about.  I looked at their page and a day or two before, it was a sad post.  The comments were all to cheer up and things will get better.  By the same fucking people sending me messages slamming this person's happiness.  It's a sad, dark world we live in.  Facebook hasn't made it better, it's proven it.

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