Skip to main content

Free Writing - Take 45

Too tired to concentrate on film or a book, but wasting away, reading misspelled and incorrect words, damaged relationships, sadness abound. I sit, possibly worse off than most, but yet I stifle it. Hidden under a robust smile and glassy eyes. The torture of reality, feels like lashes on my soul.  I drop hints, like bait, but there isn't a nibble. Sharing my secret with a few, for no reason other than to share; at times a common bond. The little girl next door whistling, calling for her cat to come home. It's midnight and she can't be more than ten. Alone in a big world, riding her bike by day, searching endlessly by night. Her cat, her companion. Too young to be living in this solitude and yet I envy her. Free from judgement. Riding her bike, playing in the dirt, sitting alone, contemplating a future I pray is brighter than mine. I gaze at photographs, the smile big and bright as I run naked through the weeds, contracting ever so slightly with each passing year. No fault but my own, I try to tell the voice in my head, but he seems content on reminding me of this and that. He points to the space where people once were and laughs at their absence. For a second I feel a stupor, brought on by the hours of the day, more so yesterday to be truthful. Sleep awaits, but for how long, before that nagging voice wakes, for no other reason, but to point out the void, which was once overpopulated.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Random Thoughts At 2:44AM

Most people I know do not care about knowing the truth or facts, they only care about being the one who passes along information. I wonder if I could privately ask people why they use social media (honestly), what their reason would be.  I don't think people without a sense of humor, realize how much fun the world can be. Even during the hard times.  So many of us spend time thinking of mistakes and regrets, but if we really think about it, we've probably dodged more bullets than missed boats.  You know when you sit by yourself reading, sipping some coffee or tea and you don't think about anything, but what you're doing? That!
5 comments
Read more

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...
10 comments
Read more

Lists

Americans are obsessed with lists. Christmas Lists, Top Ten Lists, Shopping Lists, Hell, when I was a kid, one of the most popular books was aptly titled, The Book of Lists. We're obsessed. I make lists all the time and while I try to use the universally accepted limit of ten items, they rarely end up that way. That being said, lists are a terrible thing. I have never, not once in my life, used a shopping list. You know what I'm good at? Shopping. I buy what's on sale, forgoing the avocados this week and buying some peaches that looked ripe and at a bargain. I walk down every aisle and find things I'd never think to add to the holy list, but now see the large can is but 89 cents. Lists keep us from exploring. The inspiration for this, was not a rebuttal to a friends first blog, in which she lists things, proclaiming lists are a part of her life. No, this was inspired by a comical moment had at 5:18 in the morning. I went to get a glass of water and gazed in the frid...
3 comments
Read more