Hesitation

You ever want to write something, because you really can't put into words what you're going through? I wrote one blog about my apartment and deleted it, because I worry my words of anger might come back to haunt me. I wrote another about a situation I'm feeling that I deleted as not to anger someone I care about. Yet another was deleted as not to embarrass or compromise my relationship with someone. Lastly, I deleted a fourth, because it didn't seem fair to air my dirty laundry about things, I may in fact have a huge role in, but seem blinded by my own frustration.

I am very open as anyone who has read this or actually knows me will tell, but the last few months have generated such negative emotions within me, about people I care about, that I'm at a loss for words. Something that has been a rare occurrence over the years. I'm not looking for sympathy, empathy, apathy or any other word ending with the letter "Y," but I am looking for a break. A break from bad luck, bad decisions, bad friends, bad attitudes and bad business. I'm looking for one bright star in a gloomy night.That is all I want right now. A reminder of good things, better times and hope.

I also want to add that I want to thank the very few who have reached out. It means the world to me. Especially since they aren't the ones I expected and they are the ones with more on their plate than I. Thank you.