So last night I'm sitting at one end of the bar and a woman sits down to the right of me and a man joined her soon after. I had just received my Eastchester burger and was ready to chow down. As I took the first bight a conversation broke out that was pretty entertaining, if for now other reason than the guy turned out to be the most egotistical douchebag I've ever listened to. No, the guy was not me. Thanks though. So for the dialogue, I will list the man as D, for douche bag and W for the woman.
D: I can't believe you. You obsess over everything. It doesn't even matter. Nothing you ever get like this over matters. I don't care. Nobody cares. It's stupid.
W: OK, drop it.
D: Oh now you're mad. You're mad at me? It's my fault? OK, it's my fault.
The woman then spoke for about 30 seconds in a low voice which I couldn't pick up. This gem followed.
D: Nobody in this town is as big as me. I'm smarter, I'm better looking, I'm just the fucking man and you need to know that. There is nobody like me in this town.
Right about now, I'm trying my hardest not to look at anyone else within earshot and thanking myself for not being drunk, because this guy would be getting so abused right now it would be horrible.
W: (mumbling) OK, It's fine, just stop. (she goes to touch his hand).
D; Don't you fucking touch me. No, you don't get it. You don't understand.
The woman says something and the man jumps back
D: Who told you that?
W: You know who.
D: You still talk to that bitch. You really are stupid. I should smack you right across the face for being so fucking stupid. You are so stupid.
Right about now, this guy is so lucky I was sober, it's not even funny.
W: (reaching to grab his hand, he pulls away again) Please stop. I don't want to argue.
D; You are a cupcake. You're a fucking cupcake. I thought you were a pit bull, but you are a cupcake (he says cupcake a few more times). If you want to be with a pit bull, the pit bull. You can't be a cupcake and you're a cupcake.
W: I'm sorry. So how were the kids?
The douche bag goes into a 5-6 minute explanation of how HE cooked the kids dinner, except for one, because she makes her own sauce and he explains how it's good, but it sucks compared to his cooking. I gathered from this monologue that the kids are not theirs, but his through another void-of-esteem woman.
D: You have to wise up. You have to figure out how much I love you. You don't even know how much I love you. You don't get that kind of love, because you don't know. I'm gonna prove it to you. Don't you worry. You won't know when it's coming, but I'm gonna prove it. NO! You have no idea. You won't know. You don't get it. I'll prove it.
Right about now, I'm thinking to myself "and I'm considered crazy?" A couple comes in and sees the woman sitting at the end of the bar and thinks she's my wife and tells her "we'll move down so your boyfriend can move down and you'll have more room." She explains "that's not my boyfriend...my husband is in the bathroom.
So, this wasn't some couple on a date and the boyfriend was being a macho asshole. This is a couple where the guy actually belittles his wife out in public and thinks it's his way of showing her his love. While I, and others, laughed at the situation, I would love to see this guy out one night without his wife and do unto him, what he did to his wife. I think if I ever do see him, I'm going to state a conversation with him and whenever he goes to talk, I'm going to call him cupcake. Then call myself pit bull and bite his face! It also makes me wonder how the fuck this guy is married and I am single. Fucking douche bag!
D: I can't believe you. You obsess over everything. It doesn't even matter. Nothing you ever get like this over matters. I don't care. Nobody cares. It's stupid.
W: OK, drop it.
D: Oh now you're mad. You're mad at me? It's my fault? OK, it's my fault.
The woman then spoke for about 30 seconds in a low voice which I couldn't pick up. This gem followed.
D: Nobody in this town is as big as me. I'm smarter, I'm better looking, I'm just the fucking man and you need to know that. There is nobody like me in this town.
Right about now, I'm trying my hardest not to look at anyone else within earshot and thanking myself for not being drunk, because this guy would be getting so abused right now it would be horrible.
W: (mumbling) OK, It's fine, just stop. (she goes to touch his hand).
D; Don't you fucking touch me. No, you don't get it. You don't understand.
The woman says something and the man jumps back
D: Who told you that?
W: You know who.
D: You still talk to that bitch. You really are stupid. I should smack you right across the face for being so fucking stupid. You are so stupid.
Right about now, this guy is so lucky I was sober, it's not even funny.
W: (reaching to grab his hand, he pulls away again) Please stop. I don't want to argue.
D; You are a cupcake. You're a fucking cupcake. I thought you were a pit bull, but you are a cupcake (he says cupcake a few more times). If you want to be with a pit bull, the pit bull. You can't be a cupcake and you're a cupcake.
W: I'm sorry. So how were the kids?
The douche bag goes into a 5-6 minute explanation of how HE cooked the kids dinner, except for one, because she makes her own sauce and he explains how it's good, but it sucks compared to his cooking. I gathered from this monologue that the kids are not theirs, but his through another void-of-esteem woman.
D: You have to wise up. You have to figure out how much I love you. You don't even know how much I love you. You don't get that kind of love, because you don't know. I'm gonna prove it to you. Don't you worry. You won't know when it's coming, but I'm gonna prove it. NO! You have no idea. You won't know. You don't get it. I'll prove it.
Right about now, I'm thinking to myself "and I'm considered crazy?" A couple comes in and sees the woman sitting at the end of the bar and thinks she's my wife and tells her "we'll move down so your boyfriend can move down and you'll have more room." She explains "that's not my boyfriend...my husband is in the bathroom.
So, this wasn't some couple on a date and the boyfriend was being a macho asshole. This is a couple where the guy actually belittles his wife out in public and thinks it's his way of showing her his love. While I, and others, laughed at the situation, I would love to see this guy out one night without his wife and do unto him, what he did to his wife. I think if I ever do see him, I'm going to state a conversation with him and whenever he goes to talk, I'm going to call him cupcake. Then call myself pit bull and bite his face! It also makes me wonder how the fuck this guy is married and I am single. Fucking douche bag!
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