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Men Vs. Women: A Look At Our Differences from A-Z

Adultery:  I think while this is much more prevalent than anyone wants to admit, I think it's differently viewed.  Men who cheat on their wives always seem to say they are bored or their wives aren't sexy any more.  Women say their husbands aren't romantic anymore.  Men who cheat with married women, always say that they woman came after them.  Women who cheat with married men, usually go after the man, because they want sex with no strings.  They always justify this behavior with "I'm not the one who is cheating."

Bargains:  A guy sees something he doesn't need that normally costs $50, but is on sale for $25, he will buy it.  A female sees something she doesn't need that normally costs $50, but is on sale for $25, she will buy two of them.

Coffee:  Men get coffee to wake up or to drink something with a bagel/donut.  Women think it's an event.

Driving:  Men drive too fast and sometimes get into accidents.  Women think driving is a secondary thing they are doing while talking on the phone and putting on makeup.  Sometimes they cause accidents.

Elevators:  Men always walk all the way in and lean against the back wall.  Women always walk in about a foot and then turn around.  Yes we're checking out your ass and wondering what sex in the elevator would be like.

Furniture:  Men want comfortable and practical stuff they can use without having to put together.  Women want stuff that goes with the drapes and carpet.

Groceries:  Women will spend hours in the supermarket and get everything imaginable.  Men will spent ten minutes and get everything but what they came out for.

Holidays: Men want to enjoy the time for themselves.  Women want everyone else to enjoy it and tell all their friends how great a hostess you are.

Inviting:  Men invite friend via phone call, text or asking in person.  Women send printed invitations, evites or post something on a special web page.

Jerks:  Men think people are jerks.  Usually we hang out with them.  Women think people are jerks and they are usually our friends.

Kittens:  Men know they will grow up to be cats.  Women think they are so cute.

Love:  Women usually say it first, mean it first and find it first.  Men, fight it first, fight meaning it and fall harder...last.  I should have been born a woman.

Movies:  Two hours of entertained silence for men.   Two hours of a Q&A session we don't know the answers to, because we haven't seen the movie yet!

Neighbors: For guys, the annoying people next door.  For women, potential best friends and something to do on the weekends.

Orgasms:  For guys, and obvious moment where we look our ugliest and feel our best.  For women, a time, where in many instances we are unaware if you are telling the truth.  When it is real, you look about as sexy as you ever do and we want that moment to continue.  This is usually the moment you start acting weird. 

Preparation:  We are about to do something and we have our pants on.  Women are fully dressed, makeup on and all distractions are absent.

Question:  For men, something that is answered with a yes or a now.  For women, something that turns into a philosophical discussion which isn't merited since "yes it's raining" would have sufficed.

Rest: We lie down for 45 minutes.  They drive all over, get massages and manicure/pedicures, then complain how they did nothing but run around all day.

Stories:  Something we tell with only the important details being stressed.  Something they tell which includes details of what they had for breakfast, what they were wearing and what time of day it was, even though it doesn't have any bearing on the story.

Unicorns: For us they are a make believe horse with a horn.  For you, it's something you've all had either as a toy, a book or something else that is silly.

Virginity:  Something we strive to get rid of to make us a man.  Something you get rid of and become a slut (not my feelings, just society).

Waterworks:  For us it's something that makes the toilet flush and fills our water glass.  For you, it's what happens during every other movie.

X.  for us, the first letter of our favorite movies.  For you, the first letter of that dopey singing show.

Zoo:  Men think of it as the place that smells like shit that we carry someones kid on our shoulders.  For you, it's the shoe store on Saturday.

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