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Quickie Blog: Obsession

When does admiration, love, respect, beauty, happiness, intelligence and commitment become obsession?  I guess it's when one person feels the need to understand everything there is to know about all the people in their lives and those people feel it necessary to only share what they feel is necessary at that time.  This can go for family, friends and lovers.  In my life I've let few into my real world.  I have let many into exterior world, but few have I let view the real me.  The difference isn't that vast, but it's enough that I shade the reality from public perception.  Sadly that perception is the majority opinion and when one is let into this world, they do not realize that the mask I wear to others was not meant for them. 

What does it all mean?  Someone once said not to judge a book by it's cover.  I use humor and sometimes outlandish behavior to mask a much more quiet and introverted soul.  The person I am behind closed doors is much different from the person people see.  So how can people judge me and make comments on what my behavior will be based on this?  They can't, but it's human nature for us to judge.  It's what we do.  Right or wrong.

People use the term "in the closet" for homosexuals who have not publicly announced their sexuality, but I believe we all have closets.  I don't wish to come out of mine for everyone.  Just a small few, who I feel comfortable enough to do so with.  I just hope that those people, recognize that the person they will know will not be the same.  It's a much more gentle, more caring person.  It's not an obsession to want to open these doors, it's a sacrifice.  I just hope that when I open them, the people I'm asking to come in, realize it doesn't happen often.

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