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Protective Soul

When I was younger I had a wonderful core of people who let me see the world on my own, but were always there to protect me.  My mother would allow me to walk to school alone, but later in life I found out she trailed behind.  My father opened my mind to all sorts of things, but always made sure I knew there were alternatives.  My grandparents showered me with gifts and made me feel I could do what I wanted, but deep down I knew they were watching every step.  My neighborhood seemed like a utopia of children playing, free of parental restraint, but all the while every mother took their turn watching over their flock.  It is because of this, I am who I am.

I recently made a suggestion to someone.  Someone my own age, actually slightly older and said this with nothing but love and care.  It was received with disdain and was not only rejected, but I was made to feel badly about this.  Not my care, but was told that not only could they take care of themselves, but it was insinuated they had someone else caring over them, so I needn't worry.  I was upset, but not for the reason you'd think.  It wasn't jealousy, but sadness.  That someone could take my caring gesture and turn it into an attack, not only of my thoughts, but of my manhood.  I don't think I'll discuss this further with the person, because frankly, it's not worth my time.

Recently, I told of a story of a mother who lied to me.  She did something which contradicted the point of a sign out sheet. She did something, which in essence, put her own child in harm's way.  Something no mother, no parent would do in a normal world.  This world has ceased to be normal though and the things I mentioned have proved it.

I care for my brother and worry about him.  He was coddled a little more than me as a child and it shows.  His naivety to some things is evident, but he has seen things as a cop, I can't imagine.  I make subtle comments to my friends, especially those who are parents, in an attempt to make their kid's lives better, but it's usually ignored. People don't like being told how to raise their kids, even when they know you mean well.  Even when they know you are right.

The past few weeks have been somewhat of a revelation to me.  I have cut back on my carefree lifestyle and I've realized, with eyes wide open, that most people are completely selfish.  Even those who think they only do for others are always complaining about it.  They do so with the hopes of recognition.  They don't display selfless acts because they are charitable, but because they either think someone will notice or there might be  the almighty karma. 

I have a huge problem with religious faith, because it teaches people to do the right thing, because in the end, you will be judged and should you follow these guidelines your soul will be spared.  What about doing the right thing, because, quite simply, it's the right thing.  Why should I be mocked for caring for my friends and loved ones, because I feel compelled to do so out of necessity, not some phony supernatural afterlife hoping dream?  Why am i laughed at and insulted because I don't want bad things to happen to those I love?  What happened to wanting good for people, because it's humanity?  We are humans and if we don't take care of each other down here because it is the right thing to do, what difference does it make? 

I know nothing I write or say makes much of  a difference in anyone's life, but my own.  I realize so much good of others falls on deaf ears.  I have lost my faith.  Not my faith in some supreme being, but my faith in humanity.  I'm not negative, as people think, I'm a realist.  When people see wrong being done or they worry, they assume someone else will take care of it or the person can handle it.  And every day we read about a child gone missing or a girl raped and murdered and the news interviews all the witnesses. Why should there ever be one witness?  If you see, hear or even feel that someone could be threatened, don't you owe it to humanity to speak up beforehand?  Sadly the answer for most of you is no.  You can read this and say yes, but I'll point out a time when you didn't.   And you'll call me negative.  I'm OK with that, because I'll speak up.

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