Late night searches. Trying to start over in some ways, but searching my past. Old friends, teachers, streets with names and some without. Looking for parks I sat in, sipping 40s like I was a big shot. Always striving to be older than I was, but none the wiser. Even know, it seems like the wisdom I've gained from all these years, is useless for what I need. I can give advice with the best of them, but here I am, sitting in the fifth hour of these new day, looking for old comforts. The Brooklyn promenade, a tiny park on a residential street or the fence we called a home run. Things change and so much opportunity is lost of which we're not to speak of. A teacher's embrace on the last day of school, wishing me luck, never knowing I didn't believe in it and it never arrived. Maybe luck is our god and without faith in good luck, we're destined to have bad. Maybe it's 4:23 and it's time for bed. Would have been nice to see Jenny one last time. That nervous laugh, then a flick of her hair; her long neck and pale skin as I sat nervously, just waiting for her to look again, then hiding my face, as if my fear was visible. Failed promises made in 1983, coming back to life three quarters of a life later. Reminding me so much of what could of been, not with her, but with me. Circling the stone track of Cadmen Plaza around and around, even then, always ending up in the same sport, until the spot was taken away. No, I left and turned my back. One more lap?
This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo
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