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The Screenplay

For years now, I have wanted to write a screenplay. I think ever since I watched the movie Hurlyburly I've wanted to. There's something about dialogue that really gets me. The best movies, to me, are the ones that have sharp dialogue that not only makes it's point, but has you reciting the lines later in life. Now Hurlyburly wasn't a great movie, but the dialogue was so quick and razor sharp at times it was brilliant. I know it was written as a play and while I'm not sure who starred in that production,I do know Sean Penn nailed the main role in the movie. Recently I've thought more and more about this endeavor. I've been without a computer at home for months now and in many ways I think it's my own safety net to keep me from pursuing this endeavor. I want to write something good, but I'm afraid it will be crap. Much like this blog, there are times when I'm typing away, smirking at my brilliance only to write some piece of shit that I w...

The Rap Battle

I've recently been having an argument with a friend of mine regarding the validity of Jay-Z being listed as one of the top rappers of all-time. Most people wouldn't give this argument two seconds of thought, because it doesn't really matter. To me it does. This person believes that Biggie was the best and Jay is second. This boils my blood. To me, the thought of putting Jay-Z on a list higher than Tupac Shakur, Rakim, Dr. Dre, Chuck D and Nas is silly, but this is where the real argument comes. People that like Jay-Z hate Nas and vice versa. They had a very public beef years ago and they said some horrible things about each other. Here's my big issue. This is how rap used to be decided; in battles. Now usually these things were settled face to face, but many times they carried over into albums. My friend is entitled to his opinion, but in this war, Nas destroyed Jay-Z on his hit Ether . Fans called in and voted and by a fairly large margin even Jay-Z's fans admitt...

2010 MLB Predictions

OK, so everyone can throw darts at a board and come up with a winner in April. Every year for about the last 15 years, I have used a system, where I predict the final standings, the playoff and World Series winners and the Cy Young and MVP winners. In all the years I've used this system, only one season did I have less than six of the playoff teams correct. I've predicted the World Series winner a handful of times (although the last time I was correct was when the Sox won in 2004). I have picked at least one of the Cy Young award winners numerous times and the MVP has actually been on the money more than any other category (thanks to guys like Bonds and Pujols). This being said, I'm sure now that I'm making my picks public, the correct picks will be embarrassingly low. Just to give you a little insight into my thought process. I rate every player at every position based on hitting alone. Fielding is very overrated at most positions. Pitching is much more import...

Insomnia

Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. - Clifton Fadiman I don't know if what I have is insomnia. Some people look at me and say, "it must be sleep apnea." Some people say, "you're sleeping but it's not rested sleep." Some others say, they have it too. I don't know if I clinically have insomnia, because I never went to a sleep center. I was supposed to, but my insurance lapsed and I wasn't able to do it. I also had a problem when I spoke with the woman on the phone. I asked her what the procedure was and she explained in great detail that I was to arrive about 8pm, they would hook up things to my chest, my head, my face and possibly some other parts. I would be able to read and watch TV until 11pm and then I would have to try and go to sleep. They said, to get an accurate reading I would have to sleep five full hours. So I paused, chuckled and said to the woman, "If ...

Being Sick, Being Male

Why is it that when my mother was dying of cancer, she rarely complained. When my grandmother broke her collarbone, she was only angry with her limitations, not with everything else. Why is it when my ex-girlfriend had gallstones, I barely even knew about it. Why is it when a woman gives birth, they forget the pain and talk about the joys? Why is it that I get a cough and I become totally incapacitated? Let me first set the record straight. I can take an enormous amount of pain. I have been punched in the face, got hit by a car, I've been tackled by people who were much bigger than I (when I was younger). Never did I even wince. While at Manhattan College, I was playing a basketball game in a gym class and while running down the court after a basket I hit a dead spot on the floor, my knee buckled and what came next sounded like a gunshot. The guy running next to me literally dove on the ground like we were under fire. I grabbed my knee and told everyone I was OK. I got up and conti...

Correlations: The True WTF

As I have already stated on Facebook, there seems to be a direct correlation to one's age and the number of people they find attractive. I find that as the years pass, I tend to like more types of women. Not just the buxom brunettes I've always been attracted to. I sometimes wish I knew this when I was younger, because I'm sure there was much more opportunity out there than I ever knew. People always say, "If I knew then, what I know now." Honestly, it couldn't be more true. I've worked with kids since I was about 19 years old. I still work with them and the difference is I'm older than their parents now. I'm sure when I was 19 and in shape, the opportunity (I'm not saying adultery is OK, but for the sake of this argument) was much more present than I ever realized. Now I see these mothers who are my age or younger and they are beautiful. I guess it's one of those things, you'll always wonder about. I know when I look back at my high sc...

The Five Greatest Inventions: In My Life

Sure the wheel, the airplane, the computer are wonderful inventions, but they took years to make and took a vision that was way beyond compare. Cavemen made weapons out of bones and rocks, which was pretty cool when you think about it. Little kids always seem to make believe that simple twigs are Excalibur or a .357 magnum. Not sure if that's creative or scary at times, but it goes to show, vision has no boundaries. But what are the best inventions of the last forty years that help us on a day to day basis? #5. ATM/Debit Cards: Remember when you needed cash at night and the bank was closed and you either had to borrow money from a friend or go home? That sucked. How else can I pay for that motel room at 4am with no credit card? Thankfully ATM's have made life easy for horny teenagers, hookers and johns. A beautiful thing. #4. ESPN: Guys love tits. Guys love ass. But what guys really want in life is a 24-hour sports network. Your girlfriend has her monthly friend or is out with ...