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The Tortoise & The Hare

Maybe it's my name. Being a Hopper has turned me into the hare.  I want things in life to come to me quickly.  I want everything that is bad to become perfect immediately.  In wanting this, I'm jeopardizing so many things.  Sometimes these things take time to mature.  I'm too impatient to let them and it's cost me.  It's cost me happiness.  I don't want it to cost me down the road.  I need to take a step back, start over and take my time.  I know this is the right way, but I keep messing up.

When I was younger, I met a girl who I immediately fell for.  She was perfect.  Intelligent, beautiful and the same family values I had.  We dated for a few years and I always knew that I'd marry her.  I did not.  We're still the closest of friends and she has a wonderful husband and two beautiful children.  After that relationship, I took a step back.  I've been in some others and some have lasted years, but I always wonder what if.  I sometimes make excuses for my failures, but when I look back at all of my woes, they almost all stem from one mistake.  I live life by the day.  I rarely think about the future, because I know so many people who have lived their lives like that, only to look back and wonder why they hadn't done more.  It's a very difficult balance.  Part of me wants things to happen fast, but part of me knows that the things we value the most are the ones that took time. 

Some people think I'm being silly.  I think it's human nature.  When people see their dream home, they know it immediately.  When they see the car of their dreams, it's instantaneous.  When it comes to love, first sight might be a stretch, but people do know right away.  I think guys know when they've met the right girl quicker, because we just know.  It's that little feeling we get in our hearts upon hearing their voice.  We know from that first look, that first touch and that first kiss.  There's just a feeling.  Women take longer to know, because they are less impulsive when it comes to relationships.  There are a series of tests we must pass.  Sometimes we fail, because we're in such a rush to become the one. 

Life is a long race.  I want to sprint to the finish line, but the reality is, this race takes time.  I've burst out of the gates and I'm winded.  I've got to conserve my energy.  I need to stop being the hare and learn from the tortoise.  This race is too important to lose.  It's my life.  It's my happiness.  I need to get certain things in order.  I need to set my own personal life straight if I want to cross that line with someone else.  I need to let them find out who I am.  I've made mistakes and it was jumping out of the gates that caused these.  All I know is I've got to slow down and make sure I finish this race in first.  Hopefully I can win the prize at the end.  I know what I have to do.  Doing it is another story.  I was born a hare.

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