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My life: The First 40 Years

In a little more than a week, I will be turning 41.  It's not a big deal and age to me is only a number.  It's a cliche, but it's true.  Most people my age are set in a career, married with children and for the most part as happy as a pig in shit.  Which when you think about it isn't a very nice place to be.  To be honest, most people, when on the level, or drunk, tell me they are pretty damn miserable.  They call it content, but hint at a different adjective to describe their satisfying lives.  I started thinking about how things change over the years and how every ten years has affected my evolving.  Sometimes I think I'm not evolving, but I don't have a thesaurus handy and I'm not sure what a synonym for evolving is. I thought I'd take a look at certain aspects in my life and how they've changed from the ages of 10 to 20 to 30 and now to 40.

What I go by has changed over the years, although my last name seems to resonate with most.  When I was 10, I was called Jonathan by most and Jona by my friends.  At 20, it was Jona by family and Hopper by everyone else.  At 30 it stayed the same, but at 40, new friends have started calling me Jon.  Even my father does.  My brother and his childhood friends Kevin are the only ones that still call me Jona.

My jobs have changed dramatically.  At 10, I had chores and basically it was make my bed, which I never did.  At 20, I was doing  (metal) roofing.  A job I loved and was actually very good at. At 30, I was running after school programs and working in camps.  Not enough hours, not enough money.  Although 40 saw me leave an office managing job, work briefly doing deliveries and still running the after school program.  Currently, I'm unemployed and a little nervous about it.

I love sports and the teams I've followed have even changed over the years.  At ten, I liked The Yankees and Phillies, the San Diego Chargers and Dallas Cowboys, the Philadelphia 76ers and hated Hockey.  In college I liked Georgetown in college basketball and Penn. St. and Colorado in football. To this day, I still root for the 76'ers, Georgetown and Penn St. & Colorado and if pressed for an answer I root for the Flyers in hockey.  At 20, I liked the Red Sox and Broncos.  I've liked both these teams since they drafted Roger Clemens and John Elway in 1983. All these teams have stayed the same up into my 40's.

When I was ten I was obsessed with music.  My favorite music was the Gogo's, Joan Jett, Pink Floyd (The Wall), The Clash, and the soundtrack to Jesus Christ Superstar.  At 20, I dove into 50's and early 60's music or as my generation likes to call  them, Oldies.  I listened to Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, but also listened to tons of Freestyle and Rap.  At 30, I got into Sublime, The Stones, back into the Clash, and fell in love with bands like Belle and Sebastian.  I got into silly, fun music like the Spice Girls and Hanson and genuinely like some of their songs.  I also stayed in touch with Rap, but mostly what is referred to as Old Skool.  At 40, I started to recognize some of the genius behind some of the older Jazz musicians.  Throughout the entire time, I've enjoyed classical music and despite being older and maybe a little too old to love it, I have embraced Lady Gaga as the next great thing.  Obviously, this could be a blog in itself.  How does one not mention Madonna or U2?  Shane McGowan or Jussi Bjorling?  Ben Harper or Robert Johnson?  I could go on forever.

Throughout my life I have always appreciated art.  I have been to many museums, albeit only in the United States, but over the years, one artist has always resonated with me.  Georgia O'Keefe.  How can one painting represent so much.  She could paint a flower and while looking at it, the emtions that come over you are astonishing.  You see the actual flower in all it's beauty, almost emitting the smell with it's vibrant colors.  A slight background revealing the place where it grows.  Then you look at it more closely and it reveals a sexuality, not altogether mean to be hidden.  You somewhat lose yourself in her paintings.  She's the one artist, who depending on my mood, I see something different in all of her paintings. There are other's I appreciate, but I always go back to her.

I haven't dated many people in my life, but it's not out of a lack of emotion or initiative.  It's because of the fact that between the ages of 21 and 40 I've dated three people for a total of sixteen years.  I don't want to embarrass anyone, because all of my exes are on Facebook and actually take the time to read these.At 10, I loved the girl who lived three houses down.  She and I were inseparable.  It was an innocent relationship and we grew up together.  She's married with kids and doing great.  At 20, I was chasing a girl I'd known for years.  We dated for almost seven years and our parents were good friends.  We had every intention of staying together, but in the end, a combination of me being a dick and both of us probably not being mature enough led to out breakup.  She's with a wonderful man, who I am also friends with now and has two kids.  I'm thrilled she has a wonderful life and family and part of me will always feel part of her family.   At 30, I was dating a girl who also is married with a kid now.  I never treated her the way she deserved to be treated and in the end, I ended it out of sheer stupidity.  In my life, I've met many nice people and a few good people but rarely does a person come along as selfless as this one.  In retrospect, I threw away probably the best thing in my life, but to be honest, I think I did the best thing for her.  I probably would have done nothing but take her for granted and she would have still loved me.  I'm glad she found true love and has what she needs.  At 40, I'm single and ready to mingle.  I'm not looking for anything in particular, but do feel like my life has become a lonely existence.  I miss the camaraderie, but don't miss the headaches.  All good comes with some bad and I wish I realized that at 20 and 30.  I know it now.

Anyone that knows me knows I love to eat and drink.  Even those favorite tastes have changed over the years.  When I was 10, my dream meal was my mother's saurbraten (preferably the second day) and whatever incredible Amarone my father would give me to taste.  At 20, I was a big time beer drinker.  I loved Bass Ale and my mother's Paella or Jambalaya.  At 30, I was drinking Jack and Cokes, my favorite meal was a tender steak with roasted potatoes and butter drenched haricot verts.  At 40, my favorite meal is some lump crab meat and shucked clams or something as simple as a chorizo burrito and I flip flop between Guinness and Stoli O w/club.


Well I could go on and on, telling of my favorite colors over the decades (blue, pink, black, green) or my favorite TV shows.  I won't bore you.  I could be philosophical and try and explain what I wanted out of life and how that has changed.  We all want basically the same thing and that is to be happy and to be loved.  I'm no different.  So I'll end this with a description of my perfect day over the decades.

At ten:  Sleep til 10am, have breakfast with the family and play sports til dark with friends.  Have a delicious home cooked meal with the parents and end the night with a great movie.

At twenty: Wake up at noon, stumble to the fridge and have a cold slice of pizza, go out and play sports with some friends, drink the night away and end up at the diner at 4am with some girls.

At thirty: Wake up at noon, have brunch with the family, set out to a friends house and just sit around, playing bocce or cards and drink til the cows come home.  Go home and sleep til noon again.

At forty: Lucky to sleep past 7am.  Have breakfast, watch  a movie, go out and have some drinks with some friends and end up watching a movie on a couch with someone I truly care about....it's been a while since I've done that, but I'd like it.

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